Living in the Present
by Brightest Firefly
Summary: If Marissa hadn't died, and she and Ryan had gone to Berkeley, would Ryan still hook up with Taylor? Set in S4 and goes AU after The College Try.
1. History Repeats Itself

Set in season 4, but it goes AU after The College Try (322 I think)  
Summary: If Marissa hadn't died, would Ryan have still gotten together with Taylor? At the end of The College Try, Marissa never went to see Volchok, so she wound up going to Berkeley, as did Ryan (and Luke...just for fun).  
Rating: T

Author's Note: I was bored the last couple days so I wrote something. This is just kind of experimental, so let me know what you think. Despite what this first chapter indicates, this is not and will never be an RM fic, but they will be friends to some extent and it will deal with their history a little bit. Also, I don't know what I'm going to do with Luke in this story, but just so I have more options, let's just pretend that he didn't sleep with Julie. He left with his dad because he wanted to start fresh, not because of Marissa and/or Julie. Okay, on with the story...

* * *

Ryan flopped down on the bed in his dorm room, anxious now that he was alone. It was too early to go to bed, but he didn't have anything to do. The Cohens had just left after Kirsten was assured that yes, he had everything he needed, and no, he wouldn't hesitate to call them if he got homesick. He'd promised Seth that he could come and visit him sometime in the next few weeks, and that he would make sure to make time for Seth/Ryan time at least once a day. Sandy had told Ryan to have fun, but not too much fun, not to mix drinking and driving, and then there had been an awkward exchange about avoiding drunken one night stands. They had been driving him crazy, and he was glad when they finally left. 

But only fifteen minutes later, he began to miss them.

Everything was changing and it was all happening so fast. Summer had left for Brown a couple weeks ago, and since then Seth had talked Ryan's ear off about the new friends she was meeting, and what if he was losing her, and lots of other things that Ryan hadn't been able to pay attention to. All he'd been able to think about was leaving Newport and his family and friends behind to go to a town where he didn't know anyone except for Marissa and coincidentally, Luke. He and Ryan had decided to room together and Luke had promised the Cohens that he wouldn't let Ryan sit around a brood _all_ the time.

Seth was stuck working in the comic book store, which he enjoyed, but the comic book club just couldn't provide the same companionship that Ryan could. He was clinging to the past and Ryan could tell that he was dreading him leaving. Seth hadn't actually said anything about it, but there had been a few awkward sentimental conversations that ended with knuckle taps, and occasionally, a manly hug. Seth had even volunteered to assist in the manual labor of helping Ryan and Marissa move into their dorms at Berkeley. And he'd only complained once about how much stuff Marissa had brought.

Ryan looked around his dorm room, which was still half empty because Luke would not be arriving until tomorrow. Ryan's side of the room had a navy comforter, an Atomic County poster that Seth had insisted on putting up, a shelf of books above his computer, and a few picture frames on various surfaces. There was one picture of him and Dawn that had been taken at graduation (the one she'd given him on his birthday was tucked away in a drawer), two of the Cohen family, one of which was taken at graduation, the other their last Chrismukkah card picture, and one of the 'Fab 6' that Taylor had insisted on taking when Luke visited shortly after graduation. Before she left, she'd given all of them a framed copy of it.

Taylor had left for France at the end of July, and to everyone's surprise, they actually missed her. She'd sent them an e-mail about once a week, but it was in French, so Ryan had asked Marissa to tell him what it said.

_Marissa._ They had managed to stay friends with only a couple erotically charged moments of glances that had almost turned into more. Now, she was only three floors away from him, and he thought about going to see her. _Just to see if she's settling in okay._

He jogged down the stairs and found her room, checking the name on the door. He knocked softly and a girl with short blond hair and a twinkling smile opened the door. "Is Marissa-" he began to ask.

"Hey, come in!" he heard her call from inside. "I was hoping you'd stop by." She hugged him tightly for a brief moment, happy to see a familiar face.

He followed Marissa into the room, seeing several boxes out. "Still unpacking?"

"Yeah. Can you believe how small these closets are?"

Ryan smiled and rolled his eyes as her roommate quipped, "I know! We may have to wear outfits more than once this semester!" Ryan laughed good-naturedly and Marissa playfully glared at him and her roommate. "So Ryan, are you Marissa's boyfr-"

"Friend," they interrupted her simultaneously, exchanging an awkward glance.

"Okay, well it's nice to meet you, _Marissa's friend._ I'm Sara."

Marissa put down the shirt she was trying to find a place for. "Sorry, Sara this is Ryan, Ryan this is Sara. My mind is just all over the place today." She stashed a box in the closet and turned to Ryan. "Do you want to maybe go get some dinner?"

"Sounds good," Ryan replied, leading her out of the room.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, they found themselves spending a lot of time together. Luke joined them some of the time, but he met a girl, Tamika, during his first weekend at Berkeley and he spent nearly every free moment he had with her. 

When Marissa went to parties, Ryan insisted on going with her. He said it was because he had nothing better to do, but she knew that he was afraid she would fall back into alcoholism. After what had happened to Heather at Volchok's party, Marissa had vowed she would never be in that position. She usually drank soda at parties, though guys were constantly offering her drinks. A couple of times she had accepted, but only if she'd watched the drink being mixed and the guy was really cute.

Ryan had many propositions from girls who were pretty drunk, and a few times, he met a girl who seemed really cool. He would happily engage in a make out session, often accompanied by heavy petting or even a little more, and then he would awkwardly exchange phone numbers with the girl.

Still, it was always Marissa who Ryan walked back to the dorms with.

A week before fall break, they sat on the floor in Ryan's dorm room preparing for a physics exam. They had the same teacher but were in different classes. "I just don't get this," Marissa sighed, shoving the text book away. "All I can think about is going home next weekend."

"Homesick?"

She nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Just a year ago I couldn't wait to get out of my mother's house. Now I actually miss her, and Kaitlin too. What about you? Do you miss the Cohens?"

"Yeah," Ryan nodded, not wanting to elaborate. "But hey, we'll be home soon enough. For now, how about a study break?"

"Good idea. I'm way too tense for this right now."

Without thinking about what he was doing, Ryan turned her so she had her back to him and rubbed her shoulders. Her head rolled forward and she groaned appreciatively. After a few minutes, he pulled back and she sat with her back to the side of the bed and stretched her arms over her head, exposing the strip of tan skin on her stomach. Like a moth to a flame, Ryan's gaze landed on her skin. "Thank you. I think your must be hands magical." She looked much more relaxed, but a little unsure, alternating between avoiding his eyes, and glancing at his lips. "Where's Luke?"

Ryan wasn't sure if it was an innocent question or not, but there was a vibe in the air. It had been way too long since he'd gotten laid. "Luke is at Tamika's for the night." Tamika had an apartment off campus so Luke stayed there frequently. Ryan appreciated having some alone time. "He won't be back until after class tomorrow." His voice dropped as he instinctively moved closer to Marissa. She smelled like vanilla, just a little too sweet. He finally managed to catch her gaze, and he looked at her with uncertainty, shyness, and interest all evident on his face.

Marissa knew that look and smiled. "So you've got the room to yourself." Something in her voice had changed and he knew where this was headed. He nodded at her, his eyes darkening and his mind beginning to race with possibilities of what was about to happen. "What did you have in mind for this 'study break'?" She leaned closer to him and his hand automatically came to rest on her side, tracing small circles on her skin.

He tilted his forehead against hers and sighed. "Are we really doing this?" He wanted her; always had, but they'd never been able to make it work in the past. Did they really want to go through the ordeal that their relationship had been again?

"Don't you want to?" she asked, her voice soft, low, and vulnerable.

He took a deep breath to steady himself and swallowed thickly. "Of course I do…but do you think it's a good idea?"

"Honestly?" she asked as she placed her lips on his neck. "I don't know." She kissed the spot that she knew drove him crazy. "But right now, I really don't care," she whispered in his ear.

Ryan felt his resolve crumbling as she gently nibbled his earlobe. His hands went under the back of her shirt, pulling her towards him.

They kissed slowly, almost chastely, for a few seconds, testing the waters, but the kiss escalated quickly. Her lips pried his open his hungrily, and together, they moved up onto the bed. Marissa positioned herself on top of Ryan, and grinded her hips into him wildly. He responded eagerly, tangling his fingers in her hair to pull her closer. He'd never seen her like this before, so wanton and he couldn't seem to find the strength to stop her. "I've wanted to do this for so long," she purred into his ear.

As her hand pressed the front of his jeans, his dick grew even harder. _Where did this come from? She's never been like this before. Maybe she learned a few tricks from the surf nazi._ He rid himself of that thought quicker than it had come to him.

There was a battle in his mind. Part of him wondered if he wanted to be in a relationship with her again, and he forced himself to think of Oliver, Johnny, the drinking, and the secrets. He quickly realized the answer was no. He knew he had to stop, but another part of him argued that they were just two friends, helping each other out.

Somehow, through the cloud of hormones, he recognized that he and Marissa could never have a casual or friends with benefits relationship. She worked on his belt buckle, and he knew that if he didn't stop her soon, he wouldn't be able to. He grabbed her wrists, halting her movements. "Wait."

She sat back, and looked at him closely. "What's wrong?"

Ryan sat up and ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and already regretting stopping her. "We shouldn't. These last few months you've been a great friend…and we've tried this before, but we can't seem to make it work. So I think," he shut his eyes to block out the image of her big, doe eyes, swollen lips, and heaving breasts, and tried to calm himself. "We should just be friends."

Marissa winced at his words and pulled away from him, straightening her clothes. She was quiet for seconds that seemed like hours to both of them. "You're right." She tried to put her hair back into a pony tail. "Do you think we'll ever be able to do that though? Be _just_ friends?"

"I think we've been doing it pretty well for the past few months. There's always going to be a history there, but we both need a fresh start."

She decided not to tell him that she'd been wanting to get back together since graduation. She didn't like what he was saying, but she knew he was right. "Yeah. So we're still friends?" she asked hopefully.

"If you ever need me, I'm here."

Nodding, she held back the tears and forced a smile. She picked up her text book, eager for a distraction. "Well, at the moment, I really need you to help me understand this physics jargon."

"That I can do," he replied, smiling.

* * *

Taylor called Seth for the twelfth time in the last hour. When it didn't go straight to voicemail she eagerly waited for him to answer. Finally, "Taylor, hey, how's France?" 

"Well, I wouldn't know because I'm in Newport."

"You're in Newport? What? Are you on break or something, because that's a long way to fly-"

"Yes I'm in Newport, and no I'm not on break. I need a favor."

"Can it wait a few days? I'm visiting Summer for the weekend."

"Won't she be home for Thanksgiving in less than a week?"

"What can I say, she couldn't wait to see me."

"Right. Okay, so you're in Rhode Island?"

"Yeah, why, what do you need?"

"I've gotta go." She hung up before he could ask anything else. She thought about calling Marissa. She was only a few hours away. Even though they'd grown closer over the summer, Taylor still didn't feel comfortable calling Marissa or Ryan and asking if she could stay with them. She thought about going home and just telling her mom the truth. Suddenly, calling Marissa looked like a pretty good option.

Taylor arrived at Berkeley at 10 o'clock on Friday evening. She walked into the dorm she knew Marissa lived in and picked up a student directory. The front desk worker was watching the television and didn't even notice her. She looked up Marissa's room number, and Ryan's for good measure. It was unlikely that either of them would be there, but she could just wait around until they got back.

She waited anxiously for someone to answer Marissa's door. She heard voices inside, but maybe they couldn't hear her knocking. She knocked again, harder this time.

After a few moments, Marissa opened the door with her hair mused and her face flushed. "Taylor."

"Sorry for just showing up like this, but I-" She stopped, noticing a guy sitting on the futon, strategically crossing his legs.

Marissa followed Taylor's eyes. "That's my friend, Chase. So, what's up? Aren't you supposed to be in France?" She hoped this would be quick because she was really anxious to get back to Chase.

"I was just wondering…um, nevermind, you're busy. I'll just ask Ryan."

Marissa shrugged, confused but relieved she was leaving, "See ya."

Taylor paused outside of Ryan's door. There was no noise coming from it. Please be here, she silently pleaded.

The door knob turned, and Ryan's eyes widened. "Taylor? What are you doing here?"

* * *

TBC 


	2. Taylor's First College Party

I'm going out of town until Sunday and then I start classes on Monday, so I don't know how much longer it will be until the next update.  
Set in season 4, but it goes AU after 322: The College Try  
Summary: If Marissa hadn't died, would Ryan have still gotten together with Taylor? At the end of The College Try, Marissa never went to see Volchok, so she wound up going to Berkeley, as did Ryan (and Luke...just for fun).  
Rating: T just to be safe for future chapters, but this chapter is K or K+

A/N: This is not and will not be an RM story. Marissa is alive and will stay alive, but she and Ryan are friends because I think they work best that way.

* * *

_Taylor paused outside of Ryan's door. There was no noise coming from it. Please be here, she silently pleaded._

The door knob turned, and Ryan's eyes widened. "Taylor? What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry for just showing up like this. Are you busy?"

"No," he replied, eyeing her questioningly as he opened the door to let her in. "Just studying."

"On a Friday night? Pretty lame, Atwood," she teased. She looked around his room and her eyes landed on the picture she'd given him. "You brought this here?" She walked to his nightstand and picked up the picture, her fingers hovering over the faces nostalgically.

"Yeah," he replied, blushing slightly seeing how touched Taylor seemed by the fact that he brought it with him. "But Taylor, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in France?"

"I'm not there because…I left."

"That much I figured," he smirked, "Since you're standing right here in my dorm room. In California. Why did you leave?"

She sighed, looking at the floor. "I had to get away from my husband," she blurted out.

Ryan's eyebrows shot up and Taylor added it to her mental collection of Ryan's facial expressions. "Your husband?"

"It all happened so fast," she rambled, pacing around the room. "I only knew him for two weeks and then the next thing I know we're in his family's chapel getting married."

The only reason he was able to believe any of this was that it was Taylor Townsend. "So, now…"

"I had to get out of there, I can't go to my mom because she'll probably disown me, and Seth is in Rhode Island this weekend…" She opted to leave out the part about Marissa, since she didn't know what the story was with them. "I'm sorry, it's just that I don't have anyone else. Do you think maybe I could stay here for a few nights? Do you have a futon or something I could crash on?" She watched his face, fearing that he was going to tell her to leave him alone. And then what would she do? She could check into a motel, but if she was being honest with herself, she really didn't want to be alone right now.

"Yeah, sure. I'll have to check with Luke, but he almost always sleeps at his girlfriend's, so I don't think he'll mind."

"Thanks, Ryan."

"No problem. But you have to tell your mom soon."

"I know. I just can't. Not yet."

Ryan nodded in understanding. He'd had this misfortune of encountering Veronica Townsend a few times. He handed her a blanket from his closet, and said, "You can sleep on Luke's bed. Do you want another pillow?"

"No, this should be fine. Thanks Ryan."

"I'm going to go get ready for bed, so just make yourself comfortable."

She smiled at his back, and when the bathroom door closed behind him, she bent down and opened her suitcase. She grabbed her black silk slip, then thinking better of it, she grabbed her flannel pajamas instead. Although the idea of a little rough and tumble fun with Ryan Atwood was quite appealing, she knew he had probably never looked at her like that. Not to mention it would make things _really _awkward. She put her flannel pajamas on quickly, and flopped onto the bed. She tested the pillow and it hit her how tired she was.

When Ryan emerged from the bathroom, he was wearing only boxers and a wifebeater. She tried not to stare too much. "The bathroom is all yours. Let me know if you need anything."

"Do you always go to bed this early?" she asked.

"If you want to stay up, that's fine. I can sleep through the TV, or if you want to use the computer…"

"Oh no, I've got jet lag like you wouldn't believe. I just don't want you to feel like you have to go to bed just because I am."

Ryan turned down the covers on his bed and climbed in, turning on a lamp beside him. "I had a couple late nights this week. I'm just going to read for a little bit, and then call it a night."

"Would it be okay if I take a shower?"

"Yeah sure." He tossed his covers aside, and walked to the bathroom with her following him. "The left one is cold and the right one is hot," he explained, gesturing to the knobs in the shower. "It takes awhile to heat up, but once it does, it goes really fast, so be careful not to get scalded." He opened a cabinet and pulled out a towel, setting it beside the sink. He looked at her shyly, and half smiled, before leaving heading back to bed and leaving her alone.

"Good night, Ryan," she called, leaning out the bathroom door.

"Night Taylor."

As he settled into bed, the sound of the running water lulled him into relaxation. Until he heard a soft humming coming through the door. Suddenly, images of Taylor standing in the steamy water and rubbing soap on her body, formed in his mind. He opened his eyes to stop the images and his gaze landed on the picture of the Fab 6. He picked it up and looked at Taylor, hoping that seeing her as he had last summer would help him to _see_ her as he had last summer.

The photograph did nothing to slow down his imagination. How had he not noticed how hot she was before? Or was it just that he hadn't gotten laid in over six months? He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying not to think about the fact that Taylor was naked on the other side of his bathroom door.

He wasn't going to be getting much sleep tonight.

After her shower, Taylor made her way across the room as quietly as possible. He'd left a lamp on for her, and she watched him for a moment. His eyes were closed and his body was still, but she could tell by his breathing that he wasn't really asleep.

She pulled the blanket over her and fell asleep only seconds after her head hit the pillow.

* * *

When Taylor woke up at six the next morning and Ryan was gone. He'd left a note beside her bed.

_Taylor-_

_Went for a run. Be back soon._

_Ryan_

She rolled over and fell back to sleep. When Ryan got back and found Taylor asleep, he paused beside her bed before getting clothes to change into. He studied her sleeping form. Her face looked completely peaceful and he let himself examine her features more closely. She really was beautiful. How had he not seen that before? From her button nose to her silky hair, and…no. Thoughts like these were the reason it had taken him a couple hours to fall asleep the night before. He got a change of clothes and went to the bathroom to shower. When he got out and found her still sleeping, he didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed. He went to his desk and got out some drafting paper.

Awhile later she woke up again, and she saw Ryan sitting at his desk, his hair still wet, and he was doing a sketch of something.

"Are you doing homework, again?" Taylor asked, startling him.

"Good morning to you too. And no actually, this is just for fun."

She got up and looked over his shoulder at what looked like a floor plan for a house. "We need to get you out of this dorm room. Studies have shown that light from the sun energizes your body and gets your endorphins moving to your brain and-"

"Okay, okay," Ryan interjected, knowing that when Taylor set her mind on something, it was very difficult to say no to her. "Where do you want to go?"

She smiled triumphantly. "You could show me around Berkeley this afternoon. And tonight…what do you usually do on Saturday nights?" she asked, then added, "I mean when you aren't being a total nerd."

He returned her playful smirk. "Lately? Um, not much."

"Well then what did you do before lately?"

"Marissa liked to go to the frat parties. I went with her sometimes."

"Right, Marissa…um, what is she up to tonight?"

Ryan shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. "We haven't talked much lately."

"Oh," Taylor acknowledged, trying to think of something else to say. "So how about one of those parties? I never went to any high school parties, and I kind of want to see what all the fuss is about."

Ryan shrugged. "They're overrated. But sure, why not?"

* * *

A few minutes after they walked in the door, Ryan began to notice guys eyeing Taylor. He knew that he'd have to look out for her. He placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her through the crowd to a space where there was room to breathe. "You want a drink?" he asked her.

"Yeah, that'd be great. I guess I'll have…beer?"

"You like beer?" he asked, doubtful.

"I've actually never tried it, but since this is my first kegger…"

Ryan laughed. "Okay, I'll be right back."

While Ryan was getting the drink, a girl with short blonde hair intercepted him. "Hey Ryan. Haven't seen you in awhile."

It took him a moment to recognize Marissa's roommate. "Sara, hey."

"Enjoying the perks of single life?"

"Actually I'm here with my friend Taylor."

She snickered. "I see. Ryan Atwood, the _friend_ guy."

"Something like that," he replied with a smirk.

She took a step towards him, placing her hand on his chest. "You know, we've never really gotten to know each other." Ryan gave a slight nod of agreement and winced at the strong stench of alcohol on her breath. "So what do you say we go upstairs and get better acquainted?"

Ryan laughed uneasily and pulled her arms from around his neck. "Actually, my friend doesn't know anyone, so I really should stay with her," he replied, glad that he could get out of it without lying or hurting Sara's feelings. "See you later."

When Ryan returned to Taylor, she was talking with one of the guys Ryan had seen hitting on Marissa a few times, and also happened to be in a couple of Ryan's classes. He felt a surge of his protective instinct, though he had no reason to think this guy was a problem. Ryan handed Taylor the beer and stared down the guy she'd been talking with.

Taylor took a sip of the beer and nearly spit it out, wincing as she swallowed. Ryan bit his lip to keep from smiling. "Ryan, this is Chad," Taylor introduced them politely once she'd regained her composure.

Ryan couldn't help but notice that Chad's eyes had landed on and hardly strayed from Taylor's chest. Not that he could really blame the guy, Taylor had a great rack, and he'd been fighting that same urge since they left the dorm, but still, it was rude. "Yeah, we've met." He put his arm around Taylor a little bit possessively. Taylor frowned, unsure of what was going on, but enjoying the sensation of his touch, even if it was completely innocent.

It took a moment for Chad to place Ryan through the haze of drunkenness. "Right, you're that guy that's always with that one chick, the really hot one. What's her name…"

Ryan rolled his eyes, as Taylor looked at him questioningly. "Marissa."

"Right, Marissa. Where is she? Or have you moved on to greener pastures?" Chad nudged Ryan and winked.

Ignoring him, Ryan turned to Taylor. "Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?"

Taylor looked between the two guys, wondering if there was more to this than what either of them was saying. "Sure."

When they were outside and away from the crowd, Ryan led Taylor to a park nearby and they sat down on the bench. "Sorry, sometimes those parties just…"

"Ryan?" Taylor interrupted, not wanting to dance around the issue.

"Yeah?"

"Is the party the problem, or is it Marissa?"

His mouth opened and closed several times without saying anything before he answered. Her bluntness had caught him off guard. "It's the party."

Taylor didn't entirely believe him. "Ryan, we're friends. You can talk to me." Of course, getting Ryan to talk was like pulling teeth, or so she'd heard from Seth and Marissa.

"It's not Marissa. I'm not sure what it is, but it's not her."

"Do you want to just walk back?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Maybe we can watch a movie or something."

"That'd be nice," she smiled shyly.

* * *

TBC


	3. Going Home

Sorry it took me so long to post this update! I'd like to say the next one will come sooner, but honestly, it probably won't.

* * *

While Taylor was in the shower on Monday morning, Ryan took advantage of the alone time to call Kirsten. 

"Ryan!" she exclaimed. "When are you coming home?"

He had to pull the phone away from his ear a little bit. "My last class ends at 3:30 tomorrow, and I'll leave right after that."

"I can't wait to have both of my boys back home again! How are your tests going?"

"They're good, but actually, the reason I called is…I was wondering if it would be okay if I brought a friend home with me."

"Sure, any friend of yours is welcome. You never mentioned to us that you were seeing someone! It must be kind of serious if you're bringing her home with you for Thanksgiving."

"I'm not seeing anyone, she's just a friend. It's um…it's Taylor."

"Taylor?" For a moment there was only silence on the other end of the line. "Taylor _Townsend?_ Isn't she-"

"In France? Not anymore. It's kind of a long story. She can't go to her mom and she doesn't have anyone else."

"Of course, we'll be glad to have her. The Roberts or the Cooper-Roberts or whatever they're called these days will be joining us too."

He'd expected that and hoped that Summer and Marissa, and Seth for that matter, would not read into him bring Taylor with him. Fat chance. "Sounds great. I have to get to class, but I'll see you guys tomorrow night."

"Can't wait. I know you were just here a month ago, but we miss you. We love you so much."

Ryan blushed but a small smile graced his lips. "You too."

* * *

While Ryan was in class, Taylor decided to check her e-mail and update her blog. Her heart skipped a beat -and not in the good way- when she saw that she had an e-mail from Henri-Michel. She didn't want to read any more of his poetry declaring his love for her out of fear that it would somehow convince her to go back to him. Maybe the e-mail was just something about the divorce. He should have gotten the papers by now, so maybe he was just informing her that she wouldn't be getting any alimony. 

But the subject line said _Newport Visit. _Shit. She wanted to just delete it and pretend she'd never seen it, pretend that her whole romance with Henri-Michel hadn't existed, so it was with much trepidation that she opened the e-mail.

_My Dearest Peaches,_

_I will be coming back for you soon. Just give me a chance to be the man you deserve. I will come to see you at your mother's house a week from Saturday. If you still refuse to come back with me, I will sign the divorce papers._

_Yours with Love,_

_Henri Michel_

Her mother's house? That just couldn't happen. She knew she couldn't talk him out of coming, but he couldn't come to Newport. How would she explain that to her mother? She hit the reply button.

_Henri-Michel,_

_It is unnecessary for you to come to Newport. I'm sorry for hurting you, but I've made my decision. However, since I know you will not be deterred, you should know that I am currently staying in Berkeley, California so don't go to Newport. I'll meet you somewhere here. We can arrange that when you arrive. Really, you don't need to come, and I know how much you don't like America._

_Taylor_

* * *

"You know what?" Taylor asked as she and Ryan drove down the interstate on their way to Newport. "We've known each other for about a year, and it feels like I hardly know you." She reached over and turned off the stereo, ignoring Ryan's protests. "So tell me. Who are you, Ryan Atwood?" 

He hesitating, debating about just turning the stereo back on, but eventually he just shrugged and smiled. "I'm a brooding bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks that got taken in by a really great family."

"Brooding bad boy _with a heart of gold_," Taylor corrected. He chucked and she waited for him to say something more, but when he didn't she prompted, "While there may be _some_ truth to that, you're going to have to give me more than a stupid stereotype."

"Okay... I'm a freshman architecture major, born and raised in California. My hobbies include soccer, reading, and video games."

"Ah, that must be your Berkeley introduction. Gotta love freshman orientation." Taylor smirked, and then had an idea. "How about we play 20 questions?"

His eyes darted over to glance at her. "What's 20 questions?"

"Just, you know, I ask you 20 questions." When she saw that Ryan looked skeptical, she added, "It'll help pass the time."

"Okay, but this doesn't seem fair, don't I get to ask you stuff too?"

"Fine," she conceded. "I'll ask one then you ask one. Deal?"

Ryan had a feeling that this was a bad idea. "Deal."

She thought for a moment. "Why did you steal a car?" When Ryan had first come to Harbor, she had heard all kinds of talk about him and she hadn't known if any of it was true. The next year, he had been in her physics class and she quickly realized that he wasn't such a bad boy. There didn't seem to be anything rebellious about him. But when she had spent time at the Cohen house with the fab four, Seth had said something about it when they were playing Grand Theft Auto, and she'd wondered about it ever since.

He was thankful when he realized her tone was neither condescending nor judgmental, just curious and a little confused. "It's was Trey's idea. He's my brother," Ryan answered, his expression becoming nostalgic. "He's always tried to look out for me, took me to his friend's house when my mom's boyfriend of the month got out of control. So when he asked me to help him steal the car, I couldn't say no. He's my brother and he needed my help. Or maybe he was trying to help me, I don't know. But he was all I had at the time."

"What about Theresa, the girl you took to prom? Weren't you guys really close?"

"Yeah, we were off and on, but she was sort of...trying to move on. Her new boyfriend didn't like me hanging around too much." He smirked and Taylor could only imagine why. "But I think that was two questions."

"Okay, okay, your turn."

"Why did you marry that French guy?"

She sighed, tilting her head against the back of the seat. "It was so stupid. I was completely on my own and scared out of my mind. And then there's this guy saying he loves me and he wants to take care of me. I've never had that before, from anyone. Not even my mom. _Especially_ not my mom. He's a great guy, and I guess I just figured, why not?"

"So why did you leave him?"

"Well...despite being agnostic in most things, I do believe in true love. And this wasn't it." Ryan nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, my turn! And that was two questions too, by the way. Let's see...when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? An astronaut? A firefighter?"

Ryan frowned, trying to remember. "Actually, I didn't really think about it."

"You didn't? They didn't make you have career days and stuff at your school?"

"No. I didn't think much about the future." He gazed out at the road, immersing himself in memories. "When I came home from school, I was always worried about whether my dad would kick my ass, if my mom would be passed out drunk, and Trey and I sort of had to fend for ourselves. I just took everything one day at a time. I never even thought about going to college, so I guess I just figured I would work construction or maybe be a mechanic or something. I just hoped I would be able to hold down a job so I could pay the bills." A silence hung in the air for a few moments. "Neither of my parents ever could when I was growing up, but my mom is actually doing really well now. She's been sober for almost a year and her boyfriend, Ron, is a really nice guy."

Taylor's heart broke a little at his admissions, and she knew there was probably much more that he wasn't saying. She may have grown up in a Newport bubble, but she knew that lots of families had a really rough time. She could tell from his shift in topic that he didn't want to talk about the bad stuff anymore, so she focused on the good. "That's really great. Have you seen her since graduation?"

"Yeah, I went down to Albuquerque to visit her and Ron for a week this summer. Seth came too. My mom said she wanted to get to know my other family, and Seth being Seth is always up for a road trip. It was actually...really good."

Taylor didn't say anything, but beamed at him. He glanced over at her and smiled back. "Your turn," she said.

He hesitated before he asked the next question. "Why did you use to hate Marissa?" The girl certainly had her faults, but he didn't remember her ever being malicious to anyone.

Taylor looked down at her hands, unsure of how to explain it. "I didn't hate her, not really. It was more like...I just wanted what she had. Real friends, a family that cared… even though her dad wound up stealing all that money …a hot boyfriend, social chair." She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice so it wouldn't shake. "I just wanted people to see me."

"I see you," he replied before he could think about it.

She blushed. "Thanks."

"It's kind of weird to think that anyone _wouldn't_ see you."

She figured he was just trying to make her feel better, but she appreciated it none the less.

"So, which hot boyfriend of hers did you wish you had?" he teased.

Taylor realized that admitting to having a crush on Ryan was actually probably less embarrassing than trying to convince him it was one of the others. "It wasn't like I wanted to steal her guy, I just wished I had a guy like that," she clarified mostly truthfully. "And who do you _think_ I'm talking about?"

Ryan laughed. "Well, I don't know. There was Luke, me, DJ, Alex and Volchok...although Alex was a _girlfriend_ not a boyfriend, but I bet she was pretty great..."

"That's right, I forgot that Marissa dated a girl. Luke and Volchok were cheaters, and I don't know anything about DJ. And I'm not into girls, so by process of elimination..." She could feel her ears getting hot, but for some reason, she wanted him to know.

"I'm the hot boyfriend?" He knew she was embarrassed and he was having fun teasing her.

She threw up her hands in exasperation, but she was smiling. "It's not like I was plotting to get you in bed, but yes, you are very attractive and you were always really good to her. And it's definitely time to move on to the next question. How many times have you been in love?"

Ryan bit his lip and answered carefully. "Twice. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Yeah. Theresa was my best friend. I would have done anything for her, and I know she would have for me. But I messed it up because I didn't tell her I didn't tell her I wanted to be more than fuck buddies."

"And Marissa?"

"Yeah. I loved her, and I know she loved me, but it was always…" he paused, searching for the word. "Conditional and uncertain. I would look at us and then look at Sandy and Kirsten, and I knew we could never have a strong relationship like they do."

"They're pretty amazing. It seems like everyone in Newport has been divorced except for them. Every time I see them, it's easy to see how totally in love they are. It's beautiful."

"Seth wouldn't agree with you on that," Ryan chuckled. "But it is. I hope that I find something like that someday."

"Me too."

"So what about you? Same question."

"Zero."

"Really? Never?"

"I've had lots of pretty intense crushes…take Seth for example. But not love. It's not like I ever loved Jack...Dean Hess. That was just...weird. Looking back, I can't believe I did that. And Sung Ho was great, but that was just a fun fling. With Henri-Michel I tried to love him, but I just didn't."

"Are those the only guys you've been with?" Ryan asked, then realized that sounded like he was asking something boundary crossing. Not that Taylor seemed to care about boundaries. "I mean, you know, dated?"

"Yeah. Maybe you didn't realize this, but people at Harbor didn't really like me," she said with a laugh. "And what about you? How many girlfriends have you had?"

Ryan pondered how to answer that question. "Define 'girlfriend.'"

"Girls you've been romantically and/or sexually involved with."

Ryan sighed. He'd feared she would say something like that. "Before I came to Newport, I'm really not sure. There were lots of parties where I'd fool around with a girl, and then we'd never talk again. I think maybe they were scared of Theresa." He smiled, remembering her being territorial over him, even though they hadn't ever really been exclusive. "But since I came to Newport...five."

"Five in three years?" Given how long he'd been with Marissa, she found that surprising. "That's impressive for a guy who wasn't really into the party scene."

"Well, one of them was a one time thing when I went to see my mom last spring. And that's also counting Theresa, because she and I dated for awhile when I was living in Newport."

Taylor tried to name the others. "Marissa, Sadie and..."

"Lindsay," he supplied.

"Right, Lindsay Gardener, I remember her. She was a really sweet girl! Whatever happened to her? She just kind of disappeared."

"She moved to Chicago."

"Oh yeah, after it came out that she was Caleb's daughter." Ryan sighed in exasperation and waited for Taylor to make the connection. "Wait! That would make her Kirsten's half sister!"

"Yeah."

"So she would be your aunt!"

"No, she's my _foster_ mother's half sister."

"Tell yourself whatever you want, Ryan. You dated your aunt! And technically your step-aunt, too!" She laughed so hard that tears were in her eyes, and Ryan couldn't help but join her.

Several minutes and incest jokes later, when they had both calmed down, Taylor looked at him with the sunlight on his face as he drove. "You know, you should smile more. You're really hot when you smile."

* * *

Seth answered the door when Ryan and Taylor got to the Cohen house. He pulled Ryan into a manly hug. "Hey man, you're finally back." 

"Seth, I was here less than a month ago."

"Yeah, well, the comic store guys are alright, but it just isn't the same."

Ryan smiled genuinely as an understanding passed between them. "So when does Summer get back?"

"Actually I need to leave to pick her up at the airport now, but we'll catch up later?"

"Yeah, later man."

"Ryan!" Kirsten rushed down the stairs to hug him. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too."

Kirsten released him and turned to the nervous girl standing next to him. "Taylor, it's good to see you. How are you?"

"I'm good, except for being kind of homeless at the moment. How are things here?"

"Things are good. I made up the guest room for you." Kirsten still didn't know why Taylor was at their house instead of her own, but the more, the merrier.

"Thanks," Taylor replied gratefully. "I know I need to talk to my mom soon, but...I just don't think I can yet."

Kirsten smiled reassuringly. Veronica was kind of scary. "We can talk about that later. Right now, let's get you two settled in. "Ryan, can you show her where the guest room is?"

"Sure." He effortlessly picked up her suitcase and walked up the stairs with Taylor trailing behind him. "There's a bathroom connected to it, so you should have everything you need."

"Thanks Ryan. I really appreciate you taking me home with you."

He ducked his head and shrugged. "It's no problem." As he turned around to leave, Taylor released the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She was getting that feeling in her stomach, and her body felt tingly. It really wasn't a good time for this.

* * *

Later that night, Seth barged into the pool house without knocking, and Ryan actually didn't mind. Sitting up in bed, he asked, "How's Summer?" 

"I think every time she leaves, she comes back hotter," he sighed, sitting down in the chair by the bed. "You know, this long distance thing has really made me appreciate her."

"Good. You should appreciate her, she's an amazing girl."

Seth looked up at him and attempted to glare at him menacingly. "You better not be getting any ideas."

Ryan laughed, shaking his head. "I was just stating the obvious."

Satisfied with that answer, Seth changed the subject. "So how awkward is it going to be when Marissa finds out that you brought Taylor home?"

"I didn't bring Taylor home. I mean, I did, but not like that. Besides, we're just friends."

"You and Marissa or you and Taylor?"

"Both."

"Uh huh, so you're single and then this hot girl shows up at your door asking for your help, and you're telling me there's nothing else going on there?"

"Did you just say Taylor was hot?"

"No! Please don't tell Summer. I just mean, objectively speaking, she's a very attractive girl. Are you telling me that the last several days she's been staying in your room, the thought of screwing her senseless hasn't crossed your mind?"

"Dude, she's married," Ryan pointed out.

"Don't try and change the subject here, you didn't deny that you thought about it...wait, what? She's _married_?"

"She married some guy in France and then she left him and came back home."

"She got _married_? Why? When? Who?"

"You'll have to talk to her about that."

"You don't know? You never bothered to ask her what possessed her to marry some French guy and then leave him?"

"I didn't say I don't know, I just told you to ask her yourself."

"But she did leave him, right? Are they getting a divorce?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so she's not going to be married for much longer."

"Seth..." Ryan warned.

"And right now, she's upstairs in the guest room alone, and unless you've been holding out on me, you haven't gotten any for quite some time now..."

"She's our friend. I'm not going to take advantage of the fact that she's on the rebound."

"_She_ left _him,_ correct? So I doubt she's all heart broken about it."

Ryan acknowledged to himself that Seth did have a point. Taylor didn't seem at all heartbroken, just unsure of what to do next, but he wasn't about to give Seth that ammo. "We're just friends, so drop it."

"Okay, fine," Seth held up his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying, stranger things have happened."

* * *

TBC...review please! 


	4. Thanksgiving

Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Taylor tossed and turned on the bed, wide awake. She was exhausted and the bed was quite comfortable considering that it was unfamiliar, but her mind was racing. She couldn't stop thinking about Ryan. His smile, the way he said her name, his hands gripping the steering wheel, his arms... 

She didn't know what had possessed her to ask the questions she did. Had it not been for the flicker of arousal she saw in his eyes, she would assume he thought she was a total freak. Maybe he did anyway, but she'd been curious.

_"We still have three more questions each," she'd stated happily, trying to think of what to ask him. "What's your ultimate fantasy?"_

_"Ultimate fantasy?" he'd asked, looking at her doubtfully._

_"Oh come on, every guy has a fantasy. What's yours?"_

_"I don't know...I guess, the girls in those 80's rock music videos were pretty hot."_

_"So you like the permed and puffy hair and tight jeans?"_

_He laughed, but agreed. "Yeah I guess. Although since this is a fantasy, she wouldn't be wearing jeans."_

_Taylor smiled, pleased with the way Ryan seemed so at ease. She was going to make the most of this opportunity to learn what made Ryan Atwood tick._

_"What do you want to do with your life?" Ryan asked. "I know you're really smart, but I don't think you ever mentioned what you want to do."_

_"When I go back to school, I'm planning on majoring in psychology. I want to be a counselor specializing in sex therapy."_

_Ryan's head snapped to look at her. "You want to be a sex therapist?"_

_"Yeah, human sexuality fascinates me." She grinned wickedly, "On that note, w__hat's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?"_

_"What?"_

_"Come on, you can be my practice patient. So what is it?"_

_"Uh..." Ryan was beginning to have trouble concentrating on driving. "Kinkiest..."_

_"Yeah," she giggled at his obvious embarrassment. "You know, handcuffs, whips, threesomes..."_

_"Wow um..." He couldn't believe she was asking him this, or that he was about to actually give her an answer. "One time, it was my birthday and the girl I was with thought it would be fun to blindfold me."_

_"Uh huh..." Taylor nodded for him to continue._

_She expected details? "Well, there was whip cream and ice involved, but that's all I'm saying."_

_"Okay, fine, be that way," she pretended to sulk._

_"You, same question." He knew he shouldn't be letting himself get riled up while he was driving and Taylor wasn't even his girlfriend, but he couldn't help himself._

_"You can't keep stealing my questions!" She grinned. She'd hoped he would ask her that one._

_"You've got good ones! And I told you, so come on."_

_Taylor could think of several possible moments to share, but she tried to decide which one would stick with Ryan the most. "Well, I took pole dancing lessons awhile ago, so I tied up the guy up and gave him a show."_

_"You can take pole dancing lessons? I didn't know they existed, unless you're training to work at a strip club."_

_"Yeah, it's actually really good exercise. My mom thought it might help me loosen up."_

_"Your mom wanted you to do pole dancing?"_

_"Have you met my mother, Ryan? She's psycho."_

_"Well, it sounds like it did loosen you up."_

_"You know," Taylor began, "I may be neurotic, a people pleaser, and a little OCD, but when it comes to sex, I have no trouble going with the flow. Now, I've got one more question left." She was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how to word it. "Tell me about this hero complex you seem to have."_

_Ryan took a deep breath. He'd been working on what Seth called his 'Savior Complex' since he'd left Jess behind to go to Sadie. He'd even talked to a counselor about it a few times and he was beginning to understand where it came from and why it wasn't always a good thing. "Growing up with my mom, I wound up taking care of her a lot of the time. I'd always try to help her, but it seemed like nothing I did was enough. I guess for awhile, I was trying make up for not being able to save my mom by trying to save the other women in my life."_

_"It's sweet that you want to help them, but you can't save them if they don't want to be saved."_

_"That's what I've finally realized."_

_"Alright Atwood, you've got one question left, so you better make it a good one."_

_Ryan was quiet for several moments before he said, "I can't think of anything." Taylor just waited while he thought. "What's your favorite fruit?"_

_"Peaches," she replied smiling._

_"Really? Mine too."_

Taylor glanced out the window and saw Ryan's shadow as he moved around the room and then turned off the lights. She sighed, wanting to go down there and just...be with him. Hang out, make out (okay, that may be a bit too much wishful thinking), just anything. As sleep finally began to overtake her, she imagined what it would be like to lay in his arms, to kiss him, to fell his heartbeat. She'd accepted that she was falling and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was finding that she really didn't want to.

* * *

The next morning, Seth met Summer at the diner for breakfast. "So, guess who Ryan brought home this weekend." 

Summer looked up at him doubtfully. "Atwood brought someone home? I thought he and Marissa were...you know. I guess Marissa and I haven't talked in awhile. So who is this girl?"

"Taylor Townsend."

Summer nearly spit out the orange juice she'd been drinking. "Ryan and Taylor?"

Seth smirked. "Oh, it's totally platonic. She left her French husband and back to California. She needed a place to stay and Ryan loves to help out the ladies in trouble. So they just slept in the same room for several nights, and he brought her home with him, but there's nothing more to it."

"Wait, does Ryan seem annoyed with her? Because you know, Taylor has boundary issues, so maybe he's just being nice." Summer was trying to make sense of this situation.

"I really don't think that's it. He seems like he may be a little bit...smitten. Or at least picturing her naked."

"Cohen!" she scolded, smacking his arm.

"What? It's not like I am! I haven't been able to stop thinking about you in that silky purple thing last night. And out of it."

"Really?" He nodded enthusiastically. "Well then maybe you'll see it again someday."

"Soon?"

"You are insatiable, Cohen!"

"The Cohen men are very sexual beings, Summer," he said, leaning in to kiss her.

"Ew!"

* * *

Taylor walked into the kitchen and found Kirsten preparing the turkey. "Hey Kiki! Can I help?" she offered. 

"Sure you could start peeling the potatoes." Kirsten got out the potatoes and the peeler. When had she started calling her Kiki?

"I really appreciate you letting me spend Thanksgiving here," she said in high, rushed voice. "You're probably wondering why I'm here and not with my mom." She anxiously peeled the potatoes.

"We're happy to have you, but yes, I am wondering that."

"When I was in France..." Taylor took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "Right before college started..." She was unable to find the words to tell Kirsten, so she had no idea how she was going to tell her own mother.

Kirsten pulled the potato and peeler out of her hand. She put a reassuring arm around her and led her out of the kitchen. "Maybe we should sit down." Taylor smiled gratefully and let Kirsten lead her to a couch in the living room. "Now what's going on? Are you alright?"

"Oh I'm fine. Mostly. When I was in France, I met this guy, Henri-Michel. He was really great, said he loved me..." she explained, nearly getting caught up in the memories. "He asked me to marry him. And I did."

"You got married?" Kirsten questioned.

"I know it was stupid, but I was scared and confused, so I married him and then I left him."

"Taylor, you're usually so responsible," Kirsten stated firmly, but not harshly. "Do you love him?"

"No. I wish I did. I tried to. I thought I could make myself, but when I realized I couldn't, I left."

"If you didn't love him then why did you marry him?"

She shrugged. Why had it been so much easier to tell Ryan? "He said he loved me, and that he wanted to take care of me." When Kirsten only watched Taylor silently, she added, "No one's ever said that to me before."

"Sweetie," Kirsten started, hugging the young girl. "You're still young. You've got plenty of time to find a guy that loves you who you can love in return."

"No, I don't mean no guy has ever said that to me. I mean _no one_ has ever said that to me. Or even vaguely implied it with their actions."

That realization of what Taylor was saying made Kirsten feel sick. "I'm sorry. But I'm sure she does, even if she doesn't always show it very well. Go talk to her. Tell her about it."

"My mom isn't like you. She's not the caring, nurturing type."

"But she's still your mom, and she'll still love you."

Taylor thought for a long moment. "Will you come with me?"

"Come with you?"

"To tell my mom. You're right, I need to do it, I just...need some support."

Kirsten smiled warmly. "Sure. I'll go get the boys to take over the turkey while we're gone."

"Thanks."

* * *

Summer wandered over to Marissa's room, hoping she would be awake. "Coop?" she asked softly, knocking. 

"Sum! Come on in!" The two girls met in a tight hug, quickly realizing how much they'd missed each other. "So how are you?"

"I'm good. Really good. How are you?"

"Good. So you and Seth are still..."

"Yeah, I miss him like crazy, but only one more month, and then we'll be going back to Rhode Island together. What about you? Last time we talked, it sounded like you and Ryan might be..."

"Oh, no," Marissa replied, shaking her head. "I mean, we almost did, but we decided to just be friends."

Summer could hear Marissa's voice catch a little as she said this. "Are you okay with that?"

Marissa sighed. "Yeah...I mean, it's Ryan...but, it's okay. And I'm kind of seeing someone else."

Summer sat down on the bed next to Marissa excitedly. "Spill it, girl."

"His name is Chase. We're in english class together. Um, he's majoring in secondary education..."

"Is he hot?"

Marissa giggled and walked over to her computer. "I'll show you pictures." She logged onto facebook and clicked the link to pictures of Chase.

Summer admired the boy's shaggy brown hair, blue-green eyes, dimpled smile, and muscular build. "Damn girl, he's _really _hot. I'd be saying, 'Ryan who?' No offence to Atwood."

"Chase is great, but it's still new. We're still getting to know each other."

"So you haven't had sex?"

Marissa smiled mischievously. "Well..."

"You have! How was it?"

"Definitely better than Luke, but to be fair, the first time always sucks. Probably better than Kevin and DJ because I wasn't just using the sex to numb the fact that I was spiraling downward."

"Not better than Ryan though?"

She hesitated, unsure of how to answer. "It was different with Ryan." Marissa looked away, sadly.

"Because you loved him?" Summer prompted gently.

Tears pooled in Marissa's eyes, and she looked up at Summer. "Yeah."

"Oh, sweetie," Summer said, pulling Marissa into a hug. "You know what? Someday you're going to meet someone who you'll love even more than Ryan. And you're going to marry him, have lots of babies, and live happily ever after."

Marissa laughed, hugging her back warmly. "I know. Ryan was high school. And it was great, but...I'm ready to move on."

* * *

Ryan was in the kitchen slicing vegetables when Kirsten and Taylor came in. "I told her," Taylor said to him, her eyes brimmed with tears. 

Ryan put down the knife and cucumber. "What'd she say?" He felt an overwhelming urge to hug her and hold her tightly, but he held back.

"She said that I'm stupid and irresponsible, that I have no future, and that I need to get all my stuff out of her house by tomorrow." Kirsten was standing in the doorway, watching her with sad eyes. "Oh, and she said I'm looking like I've put on some weight." Her voice broke towards the end and a couple of the tears spilled down her cheeks.

Ryan quickly crossed the room to her and took her in his arms. He rubbed her back soothingly, whispering reassuringly in her ear. Kirsten watched the two curiously and smiled, in spite of the situation.

"Taylor?"

She composed herself and turned to face Kirsten. "Yeah?"

"How about you stay here for awhile."

"Really?" Taylor asked, disbelievingly.

"On two conditions," Kirsten clarified. When Taylor nodded eagerly, she continued. "You need to apply to colleges for next fall, and look for a job to keep you busy in the meantime."

Taylor smiled brightly. "I've already applied to colleges for next year. I'll start looking for a job tomorrow!"

Kirsten smiled, glad to be able to help the girl. She stole a glance at Ryan and found him looking at Taylor with a lot of affection, and maybe even something more, in his eyes.

* * *

TBC. Review please! 


	5. Moving On

AN: I apologize for the long time between updates. This chapter picks up on Thanksgiving, the day after the last chapter left off.

* * *

The Cohens, Coopers, Roberts, and Atwood and Townsend gathered in the Cohen kitchen later that day. Ryan sat awkwardly between Marissa and Taylor, glaring at Seth as he smirked at him from where he sat across the table between Neil and Summer. Kaitlin was making little effort to hide her amusement at the situation. She loved seeing Marissa squirm when another girl moved in on her territory. Even if Taylor wasn't exactly moving in on it yet. But she was moving in with the Cohens.

Marissa had chatted easily with Ryan when she got to the Cohen's house, talking about tests, classes, and that sort of thing. She could feel a distance coming between them, yet it seemed natural. Of course she had felt a pang of jealousy when she first saw Ryan with Taylor. When had that happened? She couldn't pinpoint exactly what was going on, but they were just closer. Occasionally he would lower his voice so that only Taylor could hear it and then they were share a wide, bright smile. She felt her stomach sink at the sight. Ryan was supposed to like that with her.

Summer watched happily as Seth and her dad talked comfortably with each other. They'd come a long way since their first meeting. When Summer had left to go back to Brown over fall break, Neil had told her that though he hadn't liked Seth at first, he'd changed his mind and hoped that things worked out for them.

"So Taylor," Kaitlin started, taking a break from chewing the turkey and smiling mischievously. "Tell us how exactly you wound up married."

Taylor sighed with exasperation, but she was smiling. "Well, we met when he lent me his subway ticket. We hit it off, had lots of things to talk about, and the next couple weeks were just a whirlwind. Before I knew it, we were standing on the Eiffel Tower and he pulled out a ring and got down on one knee."

"Sounds romantic," Kaitlin commented.

"I guess it does sounds like it would be. It would have been extremely romantic if I'd loved him. I tried to, I wanted to." She shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"So when did you get back to California?"

"Oh, just about a week ago. Ryan was sweet enough to let me crash with him for a few days."

Then Marissa realized that when Taylor had come to see her, she'd probably been planning on asking her for help, but wound up going to Ryan instead. "Luke didn't mind having another roommate?"

"Luke? I only saw him a few times."

Marissa forced a smile as she said, "Oh." So Ryan and Taylor had been alone together most of the time. She knew she shouldn't care, but she did.

* * *

The next morning Ryan walked into the kitchen and found Taylor standing there in a fluffy pink robe, making eggs. It was strange in the sense that it didn't really seem all that strange. "What do you think, Ryan? Scrambled or over easy?"

"Scrambled," he replied smiling. "You want some coffee?" he asked as he poured a cup for himself.

"I'd love some! Two teaspoons of sugar and cream, please!"

Ryan smirked. He should have figured she'd like it like that.

"Do you guys have any bagels?"

"Always. Sandy is the King of the Schmere." He opened the cabinet and looked inside. "We've got plain, sesame, honey nut, blueberry..."

"Oh, honey nut! I _love _those! Do you guys have any peaches?"

"Um, I'll check," he replied, opening the refrigerator. "Sorry, I don't think so."

"I'll have to stop at the grocery store on my way back from the mall."

"Are you going to hit all the early sales?"

"No silly, I'm going to look for a job. Although, getting some Christmas shopping done would be good."

"If you're living in the Cohen house, you're going to have to learn that it's _Chrismukkah_, not Christmas."

"Right, how could I forget?"

* * *

Taylor had gone in nearly every store in the mall and it seemed that they were only looking for seasonal employees. She hadn't been able to get to the comic book store, but she figured that since Seth would be leaving for Rhode Island in January, it was a good possibility.

She took off her shoes and lied down on the bed in the pool house. _Ryan's bed. _Only a few of his things lingered in the room, but it still felt distinctly Ryan to her.

With a little help from Seth, she'd gotten wireless internet set up in the pool house and when she checked her e-mail, she was pleased to find several French poems with requests that she translate them. Glad to have something to think about instead of pining for Ryan or worrying about what was happening with Henri-Michel, she quickly got to work.

Three hours later, she had successfully translated four lines of one of the poems, and it still didn't feel right. She wondered what Ryan was doing.

* * *

The following week, Ryan was back at Berkeley, but his mind kept wandering to Newport. He missed home. For most of his life he hadn't had a real family, and now that he did, they were hours away. The distance was making him realize how much he'd come to love them and how vital they had become to him. He and Seth still talked on the phone a lot, but Ryan was longing for some face to face quality Seth/Ryan time.

And Taylor...he couldn't really miss her, he figured, since they'd never really been friends outside of the fact that they had mutual friends, yet he found himself looking forward to her calls more and more everyday. She would call him at 6:30, which was right when he got back from dinner. They talked on the phone almost every day. Well, mostly she talked, but he happily listened. Taylor was nothing if not interesting, and she brought a little sunshine into his mostly dull life.

On a Tuesday night, he was working on his calculus homework when there was a knock on his door. He was surprised to find Marissa standing there.

"Hey," she said, smiling shyly. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders in perfect waves, and her low cut top was forcing him to make a conscious effort to look at her face.

"Hey, what are…" He stopped realizing that asking her what she was doing here might come across as a bit cold. "What's up?"

She quickly closed the distance between them and captured Ryan's lips in a kiss.

It took him a moment to process what was happening, and another moment to realize that returning the kiss was not the right course of action. He gently pulled away from her. "Marissa, what-"

She knew that if this was going to work then she had to lay down all her cards. "Ryan, I love you. And I'll do whatever it takes to make this work." She gently pushed him into the room, kicking the door closed behind her, and leaned in to kiss him again. "Anything you want," she whispered in his ear, nibbling on it.

He wanted so badly to give in to what his body was telling him to do, though his mind was screaming in protest.

"Remember how great it was when we were together?"

"We did have some good times," he agreed, trying to stop his mind from spinning.

"I don't want to let that go. Not without a fight."

Ryan sighed and took her hands, holding them away from his body. "I think you're remembering it better than it was." She closed her eyes and a single tear slid down her cheek, and he swallowed thickly before gently continuing. "There were times when it was great. I loved you, and I'll always love you, but that was high school. I don't want to ruin the memories and our friendship by trying to make it work again when we both know it won't."

Marissa pulled away from him with a pained look on her face, but when she met his eyes, she forced a smile. "You're right." She sat down on Ryan's bed and he sat down beside her. "I've always thought of it like if you have a good thing, you shouldn't let it go. But you're right. We're in a different place in our lives now, and...I guess lately I've been longing for the past. I know it's stupid-"

"No, it's not stupid," he quietly interjected.

"Well, in any case, it's time to grow up and move on." He gave her a half smile and she leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I'll always love you, Ryan Atwood. But could we just...forget this ever happened?"

Ryan smiled warmly. "Forget what happened?"

"Thanks. Um, I should really get going. I..." she hesitated, "should probably go break up with my boyfriend."

"You have a boyfriend?"

Marissa hung her head in regret. "Yeah. And he deserves a girl who can appreciate him instead of comparing him to a glamorized past." Ryan nodded in reply. "I'm sorry," she whispered, standing up to leave.

"So I'll see you around?" He asked as she opened the door.

"Yep. Don't you dare be a stranger."

* * *

Taylor walked into the Cohen kitchen and started the coffee. Kirsten would be up very soon, though Seth would probably not be awake for several more hours. She grabbed a bagel, then returned to the pool house to start packing. She was going to Berkeley.

When she walked back through the kitchen, Kirsten was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. Noticing the bag she asked, "Taylor, where are you going?"

"I'm going to Berkeley today."

"To see Ryan?" Kirsten asked, smiling. It was obvious the girl had a crush on him, and it was quite possibly mutual.

"No, actually. I'm going to see Henri-Michel. I told him I was living in Berkeley because I didn't want him to come to Newport, in case I hadn't told my mom yet."

"Why is he coming all the way to California if you guys are getting a divorce?"

Taylor sighed, sitting down next to Kirsten. "He's going to want me to go back with him. He thinks we should try to make it work again."

"But you don't want to."

"There's nothing to work out. I don't love him. I mean, he is definitely quite the sexual Jedi, but really good sex just isn't enough, you know?"

Kirsten nearly choked on her coffee at Taylor's over share.

"I look at you and Sandy, and that's what I want."

"You'll find it," Kirsten assured her. "Don't settle."

* * *

When Ryan returned to his dorm room after classes, he was surprisingly not surprised to find Taylor sitting in the hallway reading. When she heard him, she looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Ryan," she smiled widely.

"Taylor, hey. What are you doing in Berkeley?"

She avoided his eyes as she answered, "I may have told Henri-Michel I was living here instead of in Newport."

"Why?"

"Because when he told me he was coming I hadn't told my mom yet and I didn't want her to find out about him."

Henri-Michel was coming to visit Taylor in Berkeley. For some reason he found this unsettling. "Okay, but now she does know, so..."

"Will you come with me?" she asked, nervously.

"What?"

"I have to meet him at The Mill. You know, the coffee shop a few blocks from campus?" Ryan nodded. "I know he's going to try and convince me to go back to France with him and I just...I would really like to have a friend there with me."

Ryan sighed, "Alright. When are you meeting him?"

"Six o'clock tonight."

After looking at his watch, Ryan replied, "That's only a couple hours."

"I know! Now I have to get ready. I should probably shower so I can do my hair..."

Ryan eyed her with confusion. "Why?"

"You have to look good when you're going to be seeing an ex. It's like a rule."

"But _you _left _him._"

Taylor just raised her eyebrows, not seeing his point.

"And you don't want him back...right?" he asked, unconsciously holding his breath.

"No, of course not."

He let out the breath he'd been holding. "Then don't torture the poor guy. He's probably having a really hard time as it is."

She pondered his words for a moment, and then smiled. "You're right."

"It does happen occasionally," he replied, smirking.

* * *

TBC...hopefully sooner this time. :-) I know it just kind of cuts off, but this chapter originally had more to it. I cut it off here so I could update sooner. A chunk of the next chapter is already written, so it should be sooner. Review please! Any suggestions would be welcome. 


	6. Tension

I don't know any French, so the dialogue that's in italics is spoken in French. I've got finals and end of the semester projects coming up so this may be the last update for awhile, but I'll try!

* * *

They arrived at the coffee shop three minutes early. Taylor chatted nervously, asking Ryan about his classes, while he answered shortly, keeping his eyes on the door. He was anxious to get a look at the guy. A handsome man with dark hair came in, his eyes scanning the room.

"Is that him?" Ryan asked, nodding in the direction of the man.

"No, that's…his lawyer." She got up and walked over to the man.

"_Ma'am, it's a pleasure to see you."_

"_It's miss, please. Where is Henri-Michel?_" Taylor demanded.

The man looked at a confused Ryan and asked, _"Who is this?"_

"Is everything okay?" Ryan asked from where he was seated.

Taylor walked back to him. "No, not exactly." Regarding the French man again, _"I asked, 'Where is my husband?'"_

"_Henri-Michel sent me to tell you he will not grant you a divorce. He wants you to return to France."_

"_Tell Henri-Michel he is dreaming," _Taylor replied coolly. _"He lives in a French dream world."_

"_By French law, without mutual consent, divorce is not granted unless one party has been unfaithful, but Henri-Michel has not been and neither have you."_

"_How do you know?" _she asked, raising her eyebrows. Ryan eyes darted back and forth between the two, trying to figure out what was going on.

"_Also…He also said to tell you he misses his peaches."_

For the first time, Taylor faltered. "What did he say?" Ryan asked her, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong?"

With renewed strength, Taylor turned back to Henri-Michel's lawyer. _"Well he's wrong. I have a lover. An incredible lover."_

"_Really? And who would that be?"_

Taylor placed her hand on Ryan's arm and leaned into him, giving the man a telling smile. Ryan stared at her hand, his curiosity now peaked.

The man smirked. _"That is ridiculous. Impossible." _Taylor was about respond angrily. Was it really that obvious how out of her league Ryan was? But the lawyer's phone started ringing and he excused himself.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked Taylor when he was out of ear shot.

Not wanting to explain the truth, Taylor replied, "Oh, I just told him you were a soccer fan."

Ryan didn't entirely believe her, but agreed, "Yeah, I like soccer."

* * *

When they got back to Ryan's dorm, he surprised her by saying, "So what did you _really_ tell that lawyer guy?" 

The thought of telling Ryan that she had said he was her lover mortified her. "I just… he wanted to know who you were. So I told him."

"What _exactly _did you tell him?"

Taylor shrugged. "That you're an old friend."

Ryan sighed, wondering if what he had in mind was just wishful thinking. "Okay."

Taylor spent the evening on the computer typing up a document for her divorce. Ryan tried to sneak a look at it, but it was all in French so he couldn't tell what it said. He delved into his physics homework while she worked.

When she finished printing it, she bounced over to him, smiling brightly. "Could you do me a teeny, tiny favor? Sign this for me?"

"What is it?" he asked, a bit suspiciously.

"Before I get divorced, I have to have someone attest to my character."

Ryan glanced down at it, then back at Taylor. "That's in French."

"It's just the usual, you know, never been to prison…me, not you…" she teased, and he smirked back at her. "Never been married before, no contact with livestock…blah, blah, blah, blah. So, here's a pen."

"Actually, do you mind if I look over that?"

"Sure," Taylor answered, trying to appear calm.

Ryan scanned the document, looking for any words he recognized. "Doesn't 'amor' mean 'love'?"

"Um…" When she looked up and his eyes were staring straight into hers, she felt her stomach lurch and her façade crumble. "Okay, fine. It says that I cheated on Henri-Michel."

Ryan raised his eyebrows at her, as if asking her to elaborate, but didn't say anything.

"With you."

His eyes widened as his suspicions were confirmed.

"Thirty times."

"Why would you say that?"

"In France, the only way I can get a divorce with out my husband's consent is if one of us was unfaithful. And I didn't think you'd go along with it if you knew the truth."

Ryan nodded in understanding. "Why thirty times?" he asked, smirking.

Taylor blushed, but was relieved that he wasn't freaking out. "Well, I wanted to be sure Henri got the message, so I mentioned what an incredible lover you are, and you know, that you just…keep me coming back for more."

Ryan smiled, laughing. "I do, huh?"

She turned even redder and sighed, exasperated and a little bit mortified. "Ryan, will you please sign it?"

"I don't know Taylor. Lying is wrong." He was smirking, enjoying teasing her. "Unless of course you want to make it true."

"Thirty times?" she laughed. "I have to have this to his lawyer tomorrow morning. I've heard you're good, Atwood, but no one's that good."

He raised his eyebrows at her and snatched the paper. He placed it down on his desk and carefully signed his name.

When he handed it back to her, she looked at him, her eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you." Impulsively, she leaned into him, hugging him tightly.

He wrapped his arms around her, his head resting on her shoulder as he inhaled the scent of her shampoo.

She nuzzled her face against his neck, savoring the scent that was uniquely Ryan. He pulled back a little, his eyes locking on hers, but occasionally wandering down to her lips.

The door to the dorm room swung open, and they quickly jumped apart. Luke angrily tossed his backpack on the floor, followed by his coat. "Sorry," he said, when he noticed Ryan and Taylor standing there. He quickly went into the bathroom, and soon the sound of the shower running could be heard.

"What was that about?" Taylor asked.

Ryan shrugged, just as confused as she was. "Maybe he had a fight with Tamika."

"Yeah, probably. Should I um…leave?"

"Why?"

"Well, Luke's going to want his bed, and it's probably kind of awkward for me to be here."

"Nah, it's fine. And you can take my bed."

Taylor crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not going to kick you out of your own bed and make you sleep on the floor."

"It's no big deal," he shrugged.

"Then let me take the floor," Taylor challenged.

"Absolutely not," he replied firmly.

"Why?"

"I'm not going to just sleep soundly in my bed if you have to sleep on the floor."

She sighed, massaging her temples. "Okay. So what do you suggest we do? Both sleep on the floor?"

He shrugged. "We could share it." The bed was really small, and there was no way they could both be in and still maintain some personal space.

Taylor found this idea appealing. "Can we both even fit in there?"

"We can try."

After Taylor had changed into her nightie and Ryan had stripped down to his boxers and a t-shirt, they climbed under the covers and tried to get situated. They tried lying side by side, but there simply wasn't enough room. Taylor tried facing away from him, but she couldn't get comfortable without having a pillow to wrap herself around.

Ryan watched her fidgeting and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. She turned into him, tentatively resting her cheek on his chest. She could feel his body heat radiating through his shirt. His arm came to rest around her shoulders, and he squeezed her gently, letting her know it was okay. One of her legs draped over his as she used him as a body pillow. He closed his eyes tightly, willing his body to not respond to her touch.

Taylor fell asleep within minutes, but Ryan stayed awake, running his fingers through her soft, honey-colored hair as he watched her sleep. When Luke came out of the bathroom, he looked at Ryan, holding a barely clothed Taylor. Luke wiggled his eyebrows at Ryan suggestively.

Ryan rolled his eyes, lifting his hand to give Luke the finger, careful not to disturb Taylor. Luke laughed, climbed into bed, and turned off his lamp.

* * *

The next morning, after Taylor had headed back to Newport, the interrogation began. "So, you and Taylor?" Luke asked pointedly. 

"Friends," Ryan stated flatly, not looking up from what he was doing.

"Right," he replied sarcastically. "Come on, you can't tell me you don't wanna hit that."

Ryan refused to answer the question and changed the subject. "What was up with you last night? You seemed pretty pissed off when you came in."

"Tami and I got into a fight. We've been doing that more and more lately."

"What about?"

"There's this guy she's been spending a lot of time 'studying' with. He's tutoring her, I guess. But lately she's been acting weird, and canceling plans with me to 'study.' I don't know."

"So you went off on her about it and she got mad?"

"Yep," Luke admitted. "I should probably just trust her."

"Do you have any reason not to?"

"Other than this hickey she has that I don't remember giving her? No. But it's not like I'm always thinking clearly when we're doing stuff, so…I should just take her word for it."

Ryan nodded thoughtfully.

"So seriously, what's up with you and Taylor? She's been here quite a bit lately, hasn't she?"

"She just needed my help with something," Ryan replied, shrugging it off.

"What was that? Did she need a human body pillow?"

"She needed someone…" he trailed off, realizing how the truth would sound and anticipating the teasing from Luke that would follow. "She needed some to sign a document attesting to her character so that she could get divorced."

"Uh huh. And the snuggling?"

"She refused to let me sleep on the floor."

"And you, with your whole white night complex, refused to let her sleep on the floor." Ryan only glared in reply. "What about that nightie she was wearing? I never thought about it before I saw her this summer, but Taylor is _hot._"

Ryan's imagination nearly took off just remembering her pressed up against him in the silky material. Then he kind of wanted to punch Luke. "She usually sleeps in stuff like that. We're just not usually in the same bed."

"So she's been in my bed in that?" Luke asked smiling. When Ryan gave Luke the glare of doom, he got the message. "She wants you though, doesn't she?"

"I don't know, maybe. But she's going through a divorce right now, so I don't think it'd be a good idea to start something."

"Being a rebound isn't so bad. And I bet Taylor is wild in the sack."

Ryan looked up from the binder he was organizing and dropped the papers. "Now why would you even say that?"

Luke shrugged. "Just a hunch. Relax, Chino."

* * *

It was the week before finals and Ryan was working on his portfolio for his English class. He was doing an essay about African American literature and he'd been flying through it all afternoon. He'd followed his outline and included everything the teacher wanted, but when he finished, he realized he had to make it two pages longer. 

There was a knock on the door and he answered it, grateful for the distraction.

A skinny man who looked like he hadn't bathed in a couple days regarded him coldly. "Ryan Atwood?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied hesitantly. The way the guy was eyeing him was freaking him out a little. He looked upset, but Ryan figured he couldn't have pissed the guy off if he'd never met him before.

Henri-Michel's fist came to the side of Ryan's jaw swiftly, and Ryan staggered back a little, mostly from surprise rather than the impact. "Who the hell are you?"

* * *

TBC...review please! 


	7. Broken Hearts

Sorry it took me so long to get this out! Between term papers, dead week, finals week, saying good-bye to my boyfriend, and getting sick, it's taken a lot longer than I thought it would. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

_"Who the hell are you?" Ryan demanded, preparing to fight back._

"I'm the husband of the woman you 'thoroughly pleasured' approximately 30 times. Do you think I'm just going to let her go? She's my wife!"

Not knowing what else to do, Ryan shut the door, leaving a stunned and offended Henri-Michel in the hallway. Ryan was fairly sure the man had no intention of leaving. He pulled out his cell phone and called Taylor.

She picked up after the second ring. "Ryan!" she exclaimed and he could hear her smile. "I was hoping you'd be able to talk because-"

"Taylor," he interjected, cutting her off. "Sorry, but I can't chat right now. Your...Henri-Michel is here." Calling him as her husband just seemed wrong.

"Here? As in, in Berkeley?"

"Here as in standing outside my room. He tried to hit me," Ryan added with amusement. He looked over at the door as he heard Henri-Michel knocking furiously and demanding to know if Taylor was in there.

"Oh no, I'm _so _sorry. Are you okay?"

"Have you ever seen him try to fight before?"

"No, he always insisted on fighting his battles with his words."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Hopefully he's a good talker, because the guy can't pack a punch at all. But he's here and he's pissed. And he's asking for you."

"Damn it," Taylor sighed. "Okay, I'll leave in a few minutes. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"What do I do with him until then?"

"Um...Tell him to tour the wonderful city of Berkeley?"

Henri's voice came through the door. "I'm not leaving here until I talk to mon Pêche."

"He says he isn't going anywhere until he talks to his 'Pêche'." The nickname made his stomach turn a little bit.

"Then unless you want him pounding on your door until I get there, you should probably just let him in. He's...persistent. Hopefully he won't interrogate you."

"What am I supposed to say to him? I didn't think we were going to need to figure out a whole story."

"You don't. Just tell him exactly how things went. And if it comes up...because Henri has serious issues with boundaries...just say that those nights when I was sleeping in Luke's bed, I was sleeping with you."

"Okay, I suck at lying, but I think I can handle that."

"Oh, and...tell him we're in love."

"What? Why?"

"He has this philosophy about love...just trust me."

"Okay. But get here _soon._" He hesitantly opened the door to Henri-Michel. "Are you going to punch me again?" he asked dryly.

"I don't know what came over me. Normally I would never stoop to such displays of brutality."

Ryan tried to hide his smirk. " Taylor's not going to be able to get here for several hours," he replied leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'll wait," Henri-Michel said as he moved towards the door.

Ryan glared but stepped aside to let him in. "You do know that she's only coming here so she can tell you in person that it's over, right? So you'll leave her alone."

"That's absurd! You may have impressed her and charmed with your big muscles and..." he paused, studying Ryan. "And your piercing blue eyes, but Taylor will realize that she still loves me and that she made a mistake. She won't just walk away from true love."

Although Ryan was a little weirded out by the comment about his eyes, he studied Henri-Michel and saw the pain written across the man's face. "She doesn't love you," he said softly.

"How would you know?" he spat back.

Ryan took a deep breath, and hoped his lying skills had improved in the last few years. "Look, I'm really sorry, but Taylor and I, it's not just sex, we're in love. We never meant for it to happen, it just did."

"Impossible. You aren't her type."

He shrugged, unaffected. "Opposites attract."

"Attraction isn't love." The Frenchman glared at Ryan, challenging him. "Someone like you couldn't possibly appreciate Taylor's fine qualities, let alone love her."

"Someone like me?" Ryan asked, pinning Henri-Michel with his glare. Even though he didn't love Taylor, where did this guy come off thinking that he _couldn't?_

"You just don't seem like the type who notices details."

"Try me." As soon as the words were out of Ryan's mouth, he realized he was probably screwed. This guy had been married to her, no matter how briefly, and Ryan was just getting to know her.

"What does she like to eat for breakfast?"

He was glad he'd made a mental note of her preferences a few weeks ago. "Coffee with cream and two packets of sugar and a honey nut bagel," he said confidently, then added, "And peaches."

Henri-Michel scoffed. "Lucky guess. Where is the scar she hates and how did she get it?"

"Right below her hip. She got scabies when she went camping with her Girl Scout troop when she was eleven." When she'd been wearing her nightie, it showed, and before he'd even noticed it, she'd launched into the explanation, soon followed by interesting stories about Marissa mistaking a raccoon for a monster and Summer being fascinated with a squirrel she saw on that camping trip.

"Okay, so maybe you've slept with her but you don't love her."

"Do you think you're the only person in the world who could fall in love with Taylor?"

He smirked. "From what she said about Newport, I got the impression that people here didn't think too highly of her."

Ryan shrugged. "Maybe some people don't. But they're idiots. Taylor's amazing. And I love her." The words didn't feel quite right, and they sounded foreign to him, but they didn't have the vacancy his lies usually did.

Henri-Michel studied him closely, softening. "So how -and when- did this happen?"

"She needed a place to stay when she got back from France, and she wound up here."

"And? Humor me, Ryan; I always enjoy a good love story."

His mind traveled back to that time and it was strange to think that he had hardly known Taylor. "We knew each other in high school, but not very well." When the French man only looked at him expectantly, he continued. "It was always obvious that Taylor is a little...different...than most girls, but while she was staying here I got to know her as more than the girl I thought she was in high school. I saw how beautiful, smart, sweet, funny... well I don't have to tell you, you fell in love with her too."

Henri-Michel smiled wistfully. "Mon Pêche." He composed himself and regarded Ryan carefully. "And she loves you?"

Ryan nodded, his lips turning up in a small smile, while still showing sympathy for the other man.

"I need to hear it from her."

"Well, she's not going to be here for awhile, so maybe I could call-"

"I said I would wait."

"Yeah, but I have essays to write, finals to study for..."

Henri-Michel sat down on the floor and pulled out a notebook. "Then go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

Ryan rolled his eyes and sat down at his desk. He opened the essay he'd been working on, but he couldn't focus on it. All he could think about was Taylor and what he was going to do when she got there.

* * *

"Luke, wait!" Tamika called, pulling on her jeans and pushing the other man away from her. 

Luke felt tears welling up in his eyes as he walked away.

"Please," she said softly in the voice she knew he couldn't say no to. "Just let me explain."

He calmly turned to face her. "Who was that guy?"

"He's my calculus tutor. Look, I'm sorry, one thing led to another and...it was a one time, heat of the moment thing, I promise."

"I told you Ryan could tutor you in calculus if you wanted."

She looked down, ashamed and avoiding his eyes.

Having gotten his clothes back on, the guy awkwardly made his way out of the apartment. "See ya later, Tami."

Hearing her nickname from another man's lips enraged him. "Has this happened before?"

"No," she replied somewhat truthfully. It happened before with _this _guy.

He looked around her room, specifically at her empty desk. "Looks like you guys didn't get much studying done," he said coldly.

"I..."

"Just tell me the truth."

She couldn't look him in the eye when she said, "I'm sorry."

Unwilling to listen to another word, Luke stormed out of the apartment.

* * *

Ryan sighed with relief when he heard a knock on the door and was even more relieved when Taylor stormed into his room and marched towards Henri-Michel. 

"You had no right to come here and do this to Ryan. It's not him you have a problem with, it's me."

"Mon Pêche...Taylor...I'm sorry. I just miss you so much and the thought of another man being with you..."

"Henri, listen to me," she began, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I don't love you. I never did and I never will. You deserve someone who can love you like you love them. I don't want to go back to France. I told you that, and you refused to let me go. I'm sorry that I hurt you, but you're wasting your time here." She reached out her hand to Ryan, and catching on quickly, he took it, looking at her adoringly. "I love Ryan, and that isn't going to change."

"Did our vows mean nothing to you?" he demanded.

Taylor sighed. "They meant that I was alone, scared, and that I had no idea what I was doing. I was completely out of my element and terrified; you knew that."

"You say that like I took advantage of you. A young girl on her own in a foreign country..."

"That's not what I'm saying. I know that you loved me, but I don't and _can't _love you. So please, just leave."

"He'll never love you like I do," he replied, glaring at Ryan.

"You're right, he won't," Taylor stated coolly, then looked at Ryan. "He loves me like _he_ loves me. He doesn't need to make a big show of everything, he just...does." Ryan squeezed her hand and looked at her lovingly, and for a second, she forgot he was pretending. She let herself imagine what it would like to have Ryan as a boyfriend.

Henri-Michel looked at the ground, sighing with defeat. "I will obey your wishes, mon Pêche. I'll call a cab and take the next flight out."

"Thank you," Taylor replied softly. "And sorry...about everything."

"Me too."

A silence hung in the air as Henri-Michel left. After what felt like hours, but was only a couple minutes, Taylor said, "I'm so sorry about all of this. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"You don't have to make it up to me, it's okay. Just one friend helping out another friend."

She sat down on the bed beside him. "That must have been really weird for you to have to pretend like that."

Ryan shrugged, suddenly becoming very interested in the carpet. "It was no big deal."

"It was to me. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything?"

"Nah, I just need to get working on my portfolio and studying for finals." He rubbed the back if his neck, trying to work out a kink.

"You look like you need to take a break and relax."

"Wouldn't hurt, I guess. Do you wanna go do something?"

"Actually, I was thinking I could help you relax right here."

He looked up at her, doubtfully, and a bit hesitantly.

"Just take your shirt off and lie on the bed on your stomach. I'm really good at giving massages."

Ryan nodded in agreement, figuring he might as well humor her.

Twenty minutes later he was completely relaxed, except for one part that was undeniably rigid, with Taylor's hands moving over his muscles. "Feel better?" she asked. He only grunted and nodded in reply and she smiled. "Good. Roll on your back so I can massage your neck muscles."

She started to move from where she was sitting on his back towards the top of the bed beside his pillow, when he said, "Actually, you know what? My neck feels pretty good."

He suddenly seemed even more on edge and Taylor raised an eyebrow at him. "I can see how tense you are. Come on, get on your back."

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. _Luke's hairy ass.__Puppies frolicking in the field._" Taylor, I really don't think this is-"

"Come on, Ryan. It's not like I haven't seen your upper body in all its glory before."

That comment did nothing to help Ryan's situation. "Okay, fine," he resigned, turning to lie on his back closing his eyes, hoping that she would somehow not notice.

She took his head in her hands, rubbing his temples. She admired his chiseled features and strong jaw line. She didn't know why, but she found that to be a big turn on. His chest shined slightly from a thin layer of sweat. It was even more toned than she remembered, with a small patch of light colored hair. His abs... she had fantasized about those many times in the past few months. When she saw the bulge in his pants, she did a double take. When she realized without a doubt what was going on, she inhaled sharply. Was he...because of her? Hmm.

Hearing her quick intake of breath, Ryan looked up at her instinctively, and then adverted his eyes away from hers. He had seen that she looked slightly startled, and her eyes kept darting down his body. He got up off the bed quickly, searching for his shirt. He was very aware that he was staring at his crotch which only aroused him more. "Look Taylor," he said as he paced the room, refusing to look at her. "Maybe you should head back to Newport and we can just pretend this never happened."

She frowned, disappointed and with a sigh and a small smile she said, "Pretend what didn't happen?" She swept her bangs away from her face, nervously waiting for him to say something. When he didn't answer, she added, "It's already pretty late. I'd rather not drive back to Newport tonight."

"So you're staying here," he stated, reluctantly meeting her gaze. As she stood up and walked towards him, he watched the slight sway of her hips and the way her hair cascaded over her shoulders.

Her face was mere inches away from his as she said, "If that's okay with you."

He saw desire in her eyes and decided to take a chance, though he was almost certain she wanted this. Reaching out and cupping the back of her neck, he slowly pulled her towards him. When he was so close to her that his features became a blur, she closed her eyes. As his lips finally touched hers, she froze as a little shock traveled through her body. When she regained her senses, it was as if everything had just popped into technicolor. She eagerly responded to his kiss, raking her fingers through his hair to pull him closer. His hands roamed down her back, and went underneath the hem of her shirt. She bucked her hips against his, seeking the delicious friction, and he responded by pulling her to his body, grinding against her. She gasped and pulled her lips away from his as she kissed along his neck and shoulder. He pulled back enough to lightly push her down onto the bed and before he could settle on top of her, she rolled over so she had him pinned. She continued exploring his neck, and when she got to his ear, she licked around the shell, and then gently bit down on his earlobe. His hands roamed further up the back of her shirt and moved to caress her sides. He was completely lost when she raked her nails down his stomach, but then she abruptly rolled off of him with a soft gasp. He was about to ask her what was wrong when he saw Luke standing in the doorway.

"Whoa, Chino, you could've put a sock on the door." He smirked as Ryan sat up pulling his legs up, trying to breathe normally.

"I thought you were staying with Tamika tonight," he replied, beginning to regain his senses.

"Yeah, that's over," Luke said, looking at the floor. "But um...there's actually some one that I need to go talk to, so you two can just pretend I was never here." He winked at Ryan and made a quick exit.

Taylor laid her head on his chest and heard his heart still beating wildly. "That was awkward."

"It's just Luke," he shrugged, "Don't worry about it." He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly.

She savored his kiss, but then forced herself to pull back. "Is this...do you really want this," she asked gesturing between them, "or was it just a heat of the moment thing?"

Ryan looked up at her, trying to figure out what she wanted him to say. "I like you, Taylor, and I want you. But I don't know where this is headed."

"Oh, me neither," she replied hurriedly. "I mean my divorce isn't even final yet. I just don't want this to wind up being a one night stand that will be completely awkward tomorrow morning."

"No," he replied brushing her bangs away from her eyes. "That's not what this is to me."

Taylor beamed back at him. "Glad to hear it." She lay down, beside him and he rolled on top of her, her lips hungrily consuming his.

* * *

Luke knocked on the Marissa's door, half of him eager to get this off his chest, the other half dreading it. When the door opened, it wasn't Marissa; it was a girl with short blond hair. A quick peek into the room let him know that Marissa wasn't there. "I just wanted to talk to Marissa, but I'll come by some other time." 

He turned to walk away, but she reached out, touching his arm to get his attention. He noticed now that she was very deliberately chewing on the end of a pen. "I'm Sara. Who should I say stopped by?"

"Luke. Sorry for bothering you. Have a good night." As he turned and walked away from the room, he saw her at the other end of the hallway. He walked up to her shyly with his hands in his pockets. "Hey."

She looked at him curiously. "Hey."

* * *

TBC 


	8. Chrismukkah Shopping

Ryan flopped onto the bed in the guest room, happy to be home. His finals were done for the semester and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for the next few days.

Seth had yet to interrogate him about what was going on with him and Taylor, and he didn't want to tell the Cohens yet, especially when he wasn't sure what he and Taylor actually were to each other.

Hours later, he woke up but stayed in bed, savoring the quiet and the dark. He made out the sound of lazy footsteps in the hallway, trailed by soft, almost inaudible footsteps. "Is he still asleep?" he heard Taylor whisper.

Seth shrugged, so she peeked in the room, and made out his form on the bed. "Finals really wore him out I guess," Taylor said softly then went to the doorway of Seth's room. "I need your advice about something."

"This doesn't have anything to do with your divorce, does it? Because Ryan said-"

"No, this isn't about my divorce. That will be over once all the paper work goes through, hopefully within the next week. I just wanted to get Ryan something for Christmas, you know, to thank him for everything, but I have no idea what to get him."

"Okay, first of all? It's Chris_mukkah_," Seth insisted. "Second, is this just a thank you with no ulterior motives or is it a thank you like the DVD you got me after the lock in?

Taylor rolled her eyes, embarrassed by the memories of chasing after Seth. "I was delusional back then."

"And that's changed?" he questioned, doubtfully.

"Seth!"

"Am I wrong?"

"It's neither," Taylor sighed. "I'm not sure how it started, but I really like him."

"Okay. So you want ideas about what to get him for Chrismukkah." Seth's thought for a moment. "What do you want to say with this gift? Thank you? I think about you when I'm putting on my chapstick? I want to lick things off your body?"

"You're talking about your brother, Seth."

"Yeah, that's kind of gross. But which is it?"

"Thank you. I just want it to say thank you."

"There's this one book that I've seen him pick up in the bookstore a couple times, but hasn't bought it yet. I can't remember what it is though...You could always cook for him. It's true what they say about the way to a man's heart."

She thought of making him a peach torte, but she wasn't sure. "I think I'll see if I get any ideas from his facebook account."

Seth laughed. "I'm waiting for my e-mail address from RISD to sign up, but I've heard facebook is a very good stalking tool."

"I'm not stalking him!"

Seth only smirked as Taylor exited his room, flushed.

* * *

The next day Summer and Taylor set out on a Chrismukkah shopping mission. They entered Victoria's Secret together, and Summer headed straight to the lingerie. "Always a good choice," Taylor commented. "How are you and Seth doing? I know you had that little dry spell last spring." 

"We're good. Being on opposite coasts has really helped us to, um," she paused, blushing, "appreciate each other when we're together."

"Good! Hey, did you guys ever try the wheelbarrow?"

"No, we didn't get to that one," Summer replied smirking. "Why?"

"Well, I've always wanted to try it, but Henri refused to."

"You should ask Ryan to help you out with that," Summer said, grinning mischievously . "I've heard he's adventurous."

At this, Taylor's face briefly lit up and then fell. "Marissa was lucky to have him."

A burst of laughter came from Summer's mouth. "Coop? Please. I'm just going off of Seth's comments about his 'Chino skillz'." She spotted a cream colored teddy with colored lace and bead designs. "What do you think of this?"

Taylor eyed the sheer fabric and the strategic decorations, smirking. "I think this might actually drive him insane."

"Cohen's already crazy." Summer looked at the price tag and her eyes widened. "Oh well, my dad gave me his credit card!"

When they had left the store, Summer mused that seeing just how insane she could drive Seth would be fun. "You know, he seemed kinda interested in that Kama Sutra stuff. Maybe I should..." Summer pondered.

Taylor excitedly agreed. "Totally. The new book store just opened up; let's go see if they have it!"

Once in the store, Taylor located the book quickly enough to make Summer raise an eyebrow. While they stood in line to pay for it, Taylor looked at the magazines in the store. One cover caught her eye. _Addicted to Love: Why Your Past Could Destroy Your Future. _She quickly flipped to the page and skimmed it, beginning to feel sick. After Summer had paid for the book, Taylor quietly purchased the magazine so she could take it home and look at it more closely.

"So what are you thinking about getting for Ryan?" Summer asked, startling Taylor from her trance as they weaved through the crowds of people.

Taylor clutched the magazine in her hand, biting her lip. "Maybe I shouldn't get him anything."

Summer frowned. "But I thought you guys were kind of together."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that though. I mean, he's Marissa's ex and Marissa's my friend."

Summer quirked an eyebrow at her. "Um, no offense Taylor, but you and Coop hardly know each other. I don't think you'd be violating some kind of friend code or something. What's going on?"

"I'll just get him something simple. A DVD maybe? What does he like?"

Summer pondered this. "I don't really know. He always just goes along with whatever Seth wants to watch. Maybe actually likes that stuff."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll just come back to the mall later. I'm getting kind of tired, are you ready to go?"

Summer sensed the abrupt change in Taylor's mood. "Yeah, sure," she replied, confusion and concern written on her face.

* * *

Seth and Ryan entered the crowded mall, and almost immediately, Seth started asking Ryan questions. "So, I think I'm due for an update on the romantic adventures of Kid Chino. Do you have any gifts to purchase for your lovely lady friends?" 

"I don't know. I think Marissa and I are finally both good with being friends. If I get her something-"

"It might give her the wrong idea," Seth finished for him.

"Right, and if I don't-"

"It may seem like you guys aren't really friends."

"Exactly."

"And what about Taylor? You like her, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess," he replied deliberately casually, not looking at Seth.

"Well, you're in luck my friend, because Taylor and I happen to have creepily similar taste in Asian cinema. I can help you find something for her."

Ryan sighed, relieved. "Thanks, that'd be good."

"Although, I don't think the comic book store has her favorite stuff. You'll have to get it online."

"Online?"

"Yes, welcome to the wonderful world of Ebay."

Ryan realized that Seth had walked straight to the jewelry store. "So, do you have any idea what you're getting Summer?" 

Seth nodded. "Yeah, she kind of, not-so-subtly throws me hints about what to get her. This year it's this heart necklace thing with a diamond on it. She left a picture of it from the store's website up on my computer."

Ryan laughed. "I wonder when she'll start doing that with engagement rings."

Seth gasped in mock horror. "Don't start with talk about commitment. That's worse than 'responsibility' and 'future.'"

"With the girl you've been in love with since 5th grade?"

Seth shrugged. "Yeah, but back then it was because of that mermaid poem and-"

"Taylor wrote it."

"There were the squirrels too though. That was all Summer."

"Squirrels?"

"Yeah, a couple of squirrels would run around outside and the fat one kept stealing food from the skinny one, so she'd share her lunch with the little guy."

"She's drawn to the weak ones, isn't she?"

Seth smirked and his eyes landed on two familiar people inside the store they were walking by. "And Marissa goes for the muscle monkeys. Well, at least in the guys she actually dates."

Ryan followed Seth's gaze.

* * *

Luke held up two polo shirts. One was a dark blue shirt with white stripes and the other was brown with pink stripes. "Which one do you think?" he asked Marissa. 

"Is this for Brad or Eric?" she asked.

"Brad. I can't believe my mom wants me to get them clothes," Luke laughed. "But I don't know what they like, so I don't really have any better ideas."

"You could always get them a gift certificate," Marissa suggested. "Or...we could ask Kaitlin."

"Kaitlin?"

"Yeah, she's been hanging out with them all semester."

"I'll have to have a talk with those guys. If they're anything like I was at that age, I don't want them anywhere near your sister."

Marissa laughed at the irony of it. "_Now _you get all protective of the Cooper girls?"

Luke turned uncharacteristically serious, and pulled her to a bench so they could sit down. "Marissa, if I could go back and change what I did... I mean I'd give anything to be able to... I've never stopped regretting it."

"That was a long time ago," she assured him. "You've changed."

"So have you," he replied, leaning closer to her. "I kicked myself for screwing things up back then, but seeing you now... I was crazy to let you go."

Marissa blushed slightly. "It's not like I was totally innocent in everything."

Luke rushed to correct her. "No, it wasn't your fault, anything you did or didn't do..."

"No," she cut him off. "I mean... you remember that night the model home burned down?"

"When you went to see Ryan?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you said nothing happened."

She shook her head. "It didn't." Luke let out a sigh of relief. "But it wasn't because I didn't want it to. It didn't happen because he didn't want it to."

Luke looked a little hurt, but knowing he had no right to feel that way, he forced a smile. "I guess he changed his mind about that," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Marissa shrugged, nodding slightly. "Yep. But that's over now too."

"Are you doing okay with that?"

She smiled slightly. "Yeah. I think I am."

* * *

"Marissa and Luke," Ryan said flatly. 

"Dude, they're just shopping, it's not like they're together."

"It's fine if they are," Ryan shrugged, feigning indifference. "I mean he did cheat on her with one of her best friends, but if she's willing to let that go..."

"Luke has changed a lot since then. He actually resembles a human being sometimes now."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Ryan remembered seeing them together at Casino night during his first few days in Newport and his stomach twisted a little bit.


	9. New Match

Before Chrismukkah dinner, Summer and Seth went up to his room to exchange gifts. She smiled knowingly when he handed her a small box, and when she opened it she said, "I love it, Cohen!" then mockingly, "How did you know?"

"Just a hunch," he laughed and took the box from her, carefully removing the necklace, and fastening it around her neck. "It looks perfect on you."

"Duh! Okay, now open yours!" She couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he saw the lingerie and the comic book Taylor had helped her find.

Seth excitedly tore open the wrapping paper and then pried open the box. Inside was the Godfather Trilogy. "Oh hey, The Godfather," he said, confused. "I've actually never seen these before, but um, Ryan says they're awesome."

"Wait!" Summer grabbed the box and pulled out all the tissue. She looked in the direction of the pool house where Ryan had gone to exchange gifts with Taylor. "Shit!"

* * *

Ryan was quite please with Taylor's reaction to the DVD set Seth had helped him pick out. He took the box she handed him shyly. He still wasn't sure how he felt about everything. His reaction to seeing Luke and Marissa together had confused and surprised him. He'd seen her with other guys plenty of times and hadn't gotten upset, so why was it different now? Was it jealousy? Protectiveness? Or was it just memories and old rivalries? He and Luke were friends now, and maybe now that he and Marissa had both grown up a lot, they'd be right for each other. Maybe.

Taylor had read that magazine article about 11 times and decided that she needed some serious therapy before she got into a relationship with anyone, but seeing Ryan now, she was rethinking that decision. She fidgeted as Ryan carefully unwrapped the gift and she wasn't surprised when he'd gotten it all off without tearing it. She watched as he opened the white box. She didn't know what she expected, but the look on his face at that moment certainly wasn't it.

Ryan's eyes were wide and he looked up at her with surprise, interest, and...arousal? That's what it looked like. "Taylor, um...this..."

The stricken look on his face and his inability to form a sentence was concerning her. She leaned over to see into the box and she felt her cheeks heat up when she saw the contents of it. "You must think I'm a complete whore..."

"No, no," he interjected. "This is..." he started, but soon his mind was filled with images of Taylor wearing the contents of the box and he came across the book that was laying just below the lingerie. "The Kama Sutra?"

Taylor saw a playful twinkle in his eyes, and made a mental note to investigate that later. And a little teasing right now wouldn't hurt. "I've always wanted to try the wheelbarrow." She leaned close to him and opened the book to the correct page.

Looking at the page, he took the book from her and rotated it, trying to figure out exactly how the girl was bending like that. Suddenly the door to the pool house flew open and Ryan immediately stashed the book back in the box as Summer quickly made her way to Taylor.

It wasn't until she had reached Taylor that she noticed the box was unwrapped and Ryan was holding it. "Oh no, he opened it," she said to Taylor in a low voice. Then to Ryan, "Um, we went shopping together and the boxes must have gotten switched." She refused to look him in the eyes. "Could you just pretend you didn't see that?"

Now he was forcing himself to not picture _Summer _in the lingerie. "Uh, sure," he replied as she handed him the correct gift.

Taylor took the box she'd given him and handed it to Summer. "I think Seth will like this better than The Godfather."

When Summer was gone, a tense silence filled the pool house. "Sorry for the mix up," Taylor said.

"It's okay."

As Ryan pulled out the DVD's Taylor said, "I guess this is kind of a letdown compared to what you thought you were getting."

"No, this is great," he said with a sincere smile. "I mean that would have been uh, great, also, but how did you know I love The Godfather?"

"Just a hunch," she replied, teasingly. The look on his face when he'd opened the first gift was still fresh in her mind and she wondered what would have happened if Summer hadn't come in when she did. "But if you want, you can exchange it for the Kama Sutra."

He laughed, and she decided it was her favorite sound in the world. "I'll keep that it mind," he replied feeling relieved, though slightly disappointed of course, that the first gift wasn't intended for him. "Thanks Taylor."

"You're welcome."

* * *

During dinner, Taylor kept looking at Ryan and grinning at him predatorily. Summer blushed every time Ryan glanced in her direction and Seth's attention was all on Summer, eager to be alone with her later that night. Neil and Julie discussed the wedding plans, and Sandy told stories from his work now that he was back at the PD's office.

Kirsten watched her husband with a content smile. _This _was the man she married. It was wonderful to have her whole family under one roof. Seth and Summer's relationship was obviously doing very well. Ryan and Marissa were getting along, but there didn't seem to be any blooming romance between them. She loved Marissa, but last year, when Johnny had died, she'd started to think that her issues, combined with Ryan's savior complex, would destroy their relationship, if not both of them as individuals. But here they were sitting at the table together, happy to be friends. When Taylor talked about her adventures in France, Ryan listened closely, hanging on every word. She remembered the way Ryan had embraced her at Thanksgiving and grinned, wondering what her foster son was keeping from her.

Despite the time they'd spent together recently, Taylor found that Ryan had been somewhat distant. He had been busy with… well, she wasn't sure what. Maybe she was coming on too strong; she knew she had a tendency to do that. She hoped he would ask her to do something for New Year's.

Meanwhile, Ryan had come around to the idea of Marissa and Luke getting together again, but that whole situation reminded him of all the inevitable drama that came with relationships. Since he'd graduated, he'd never felt more carefree, and having a girlfriend could ruin that, especially if it was a long distance relationship. On the other hand, he really missed sex, and he knew that Taylor would be more than willing to help him out with that when she could.

He had to make up his mind soon and with New Year's Eve coming up, he figured that making a decision and sticking with it would be a good way to start the year. Kirsten was making him and Seth go to a New Match party. Seth had invited Summer, and he decided to ask Taylor to go with him. Marissa would be there too of course, and probably Luke.

He walked out to the pool house, his former home, and through the window, he saw Taylor sitting on the bed reading a book. The sight of her so relaxed in his room made him smile and erased any remaining doubts.

"Ryan! Come on in," she called when he tapped on the glass, hoping she didn't sound too eager.

"Hey." He walked towards her and sat down beside her on the bed. "So New Year's Eve is coming up and Kirsten's company is having this party..."

"I know, she already asked me if I'd go. I already have my dress picked out," she rambled excitedly.

Ryan laughed at her enthusiasm. "Do you have a date picked out already too?"

"Maybe," she replied with a grin.

Ryan instantly saw green, but the playful twinkle in her eye softened him.

"He just hasn't asked me yet," she continued innocently.

Ryan smirked and sat down on the bed beside her. "Taylor?"

"Yes?" she asked putting down her book and giving him her full attention.

"Will you go to the New Match party with me tomorrow night?"

"Yes!" she giggled excitedly. "It would be my pleasure to go with you, Ryan."

* * *

The next night, Taylor had gone to the Cooper-Roberts mansion to get ready for the party with Summer and Marissa. While away at college, they'd come to miss these Newport events with all the dressing up and primping. The boys were going early to help Kirsten and Julie set up, so the girls would go a little later.

Taylor changed into her dress, and when she emerged she looked at her friends tentatively. "What do you think?"

"Damn, you look hot, girl!" Summer exclaimed.

"That dress looks beautiful," Marissa agreed.

Kaitlin appeared in the doorway. "Nice, Townsend." She motioned for Taylor to turn around. "Plus, it shows off your butt."

"My butt?"

"Don't worry. Girl, you got a _great _butt."

When Ryan finally saw Taylor enter the party, his eyes nearly popped out of the sockets. "Taylor, wow, you look..."

"Nice?" she prompted.

He leaned down so his lips were right beside her ear and said in a husky whisper, "Actually I was going to say you look really hot."

His warm breath beside her ear was intoxicating.

When she didn't move away from him, he continued, "I want to leave this party right now and show you just how crazy you're making me."

A shiver went down her spine, and between his voice, his words, and his proximity she felt like her knees were going to buckle. "Ryan..."

"Hmm?"

As tempting as it was to suggest they sneak off together, she knew they couldn't leave the party. At least not yet. "Do you want to dance?"

"Actually I'm not much of a dancer," he said, smiling. Taylor raised an eyebrow. "Shocking, I know."

She grinned back at him. "I don't care. Let's go," she commanded as she tugged his tie.

"Okay, but if I step on your toes and break them..."

"I've been warned, I know," she laughed, pulling him out onto the dance floor.

As the countdown to midnight came closer to the end, Ryan and Taylor joined Summer, Seth, Luke and Marissa for a toast.

Marissa raised her virgin margarita, "To the fab six!"

Luke looked at her with an adoring smile. "To second chances."

"To old friends and new friends," Summer added, looking from Marissa to Taylor.

"To family," Ryan said quietly, glancing over at Sandy and Kirsten dancing together.

"To _finally_ getting out of Newport," Seth chimed in, ending the sentimental streak his friends had going, but inwardly cheering at Ryan's words.

Taylor knew she was the only one who had yet to say something. "To 2007! A new year and a new start."

After the clock struck midnight, Summer and Seth kissed, and Luke pulled Marissa aside. Taylor stood in front of Ryan almost shyly, and leaned up to kiss him. Her hand went to cup the back of his head as she brushed her lips against his. Without opening her eyes, she kissed him again, only deeper this time. Unlike their first kiss, which seemed like ages ago, there was nothing hurried about this one.

As she pulled back, staring into his eyes, Ryan felt like he'd been rocked to his very core. Taylor was aching with desire and as they leaned in to kiss again, Seth came up behind Ryan.

"Dude, we have to get out of here, pronto. The Kirsten is recruiting people to help with clean up and if we're not out of here in five minutes, we'll be stuck..."

"Seth, I'm not running out on your mom like that." He rolled his eyes and gave Taylor an apologetic look. "Why don't you go with Seth and I'll see you at home?"

"No, I can stay and help out."

Ryan smirked. "Not in those heels, you can't," he replied gently. He pulled her in to kiss her forehead. "I'll see you at home."

"Come to the pool house when you get back?" she asked hopefully.

"Try keeping me away," he replied playfully, kissing her once on the lips and pulling back before he got carried away.

* * *

TBC


	10. Peaches

A/N: Again, I apologize for the long gaps between updates. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It really does motivate me, or at times remind me to get working on this again. This chapter is kind of a filler, but enjoy!

* * *

When Ryan returned to Berkeley for the new semester, he thought that the space from Taylor would be a good thing. They could go slow while they got to know each other. As he returned to his empty dorm room, he realized he'd been stupid to think that being away from her would be a good thing.

Luke and Marissa mostly hung out at her place, which he appreciated, because even though he was over Marissa, seeing her with Luke of all people was a little awkward.

He called home to let them know he got back okay. At Seth's insistence, Ryan had flown out to Providence, along with Sandy and Kirsten, so he'd had to fly back to Berkeley. When Kirsten answered the phone she sounded exceptionally emotional, which didn't surprise him. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I got back okay."

"Thank you for calling, Sweetie. Was your plane on time?"

"Yeah, right on time." Carefully, he asked, "How are you guys?"

"We're good. The house is just really quiet."

"Hmm, Taylor must be working or in the pool house," he replied, hoping to lighten her mood.

Kirsten laughed softly, "She's at the comic book store." Knowing he'd been able to make her smile made Ryan happy. "Should I tell her to call you when she gets home?"

"Um, sure." Ryan hadn't exactly _told _Sandy and Kirsten about his relationship with Taylor, but the New Match party had made it undeniably obvious. "If she wants to, I guess. Whatever."

Kirsten laughed again.

"What?"

"It's just…" Kirsten started, and he could hear the warmth in her voice. "It's so good to hear you sound like a teenager."

"Don't get used to it. In a little over a year I won't be anymore," he replied with a smile in his voice.

"It's all gone so fast…" Kirsten trailed off and Ryan heard the phone switching hands.

"Ryan?" Sandy's voice came on the line. "I think it's time I remind Kirsten of the perks of having an empty nest. Thanks for calling kid, we'll talk to you soon. Love you."

"Sandy, that was TMI." The older man laughed. "But I'll um…let you get…to that. Bye." He hung up quickly before Sandy could say something else disturbing.

With his phone snapped shut, the room was quiet again. He didn't have any homework he could start on because his classes didn't start until the next day. He straightened the room and got rid of some old papers and notebooks he wouldn't need anymore. The dining hall wasn't reopening until the next day so he heated up a frozen dinner in the microwave.

Boredom had nearly driven him to go to bed early. He was just getting into bed when his phone rang. "Hello?"

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

When he heard her melodic voice on the end of the phone line at midnight, he relaxed and leaned back on his pillows smiling. "No, I'm glad you called."

"Okay, I wasn't sure if you had an early class tomorrow…"

"First class is at 10:30."

Taylor sighed happily. "Isn't college wonderful?"

"It is. When are you going back?"

"Hopefully next fall. I haven't heard back from any of the schools I applied to yet."

"Do you want to go back to Paris?"

"Actually, since my mom cut me off, I can't really afford to go out of state unless I get some amazing scholarship. So I applied to USC, UCLA, and…Berkeley. But I haven't heard back from any of them yet."

"You applied to Berkeley?" Ryan asked, feeling a little nervous.

"Yeah, before we were…sort of, you know...I just applied because it's a good school."

Ryan had to admit he was relieved that it was before they were dating…or whatever it was they were doing. They had agreed that making the commitment to be boyfriend and girlfriend wasn't a good idea while there was a fairly long distance between them. While it would be nice to have her around, if he was the reason she was there, it put a lot of pressure on the relationship. "That's great. It'd be really cool to have you here."

She smiled, relieved. "So is it good to be back at Berkeley?"

After a brief pause, he replied, "Yeah, it is. It's weird not being with the Cohens after being back for almost a month though. And my dorm room feels a little empty."

"Luke's with Marissa?"

"Yeah, that and…" he hesitated a long moment, while Taylor waited expectantly. "You're not here. I kind of got used to having you around. Now I don't know when I'm going to see you again."

"It better be soon, Ryan Atwood. You need to finish what you started on New Year's."

He smiled and laughed softly. "Feeling a little _frustrated_?"

Taylor laughed indignantly. "And you're not?"

"I never said that," Ryan replied, his voice becoming low and husky.

"Well then, we'll just have to take care of that frustration, now won't we?" Taylor said suggestively, and he could picture her grinning like a cat that caught the canary.

"That would be…cool."

"So Ryan…are you in bed right now?"

He swallowed thickly. "Uh huh." He had been adamant about not doing this. _I'm not good with words under normal circumstances; there's no way I'll be able to do _that. Taylor had pleaded a little, but he was determined that he couldn't do it, even if he did want to. Right now he was rethinking that decision, but Taylor's cheery voice interrupted his thoughts.

"So, what classes are you taking this semester?"

Ryan groaned internally. She could be such a tease and he loved it. "Um, a couple 200 level architecture classes, theories of mathematics, writing rhetoric, and art history."

"Oh, writing rhetoric and art history! Sounds like those are right up your alley!"

Ryan only grumbled in reply. "Art history will be a good time to take a nap. I'm actually really looking forward to the architecture classes."

"I can see it now: Atwood Architecture in big letters in front of an absolutely gorgeous building…"

"Yeah? I can see your business card. Dr. Taylor Townsend: Sex Therapist."

"That's the dream."

"So what exactly do sex therapists do?" he wondered.

"Well, it depends on what the position is. I mean, the job. I might do marital counseling and basically just help couples to spice things up, or I could be working with sex offenders to try to break inappropriate sexual addictions."

"You might be working with sex offenders?" he asked worriedly.

"It's possible. But I'm more interested in the less abnormal stuff. The kind of thing that can be solved with some cognitive-behavioral therapy, candles, mood music, and the Kama Sutra."

"That sounds…safer," Ryan replied, relief in his voice.

Taylor smiled at his protective streak. "Yeah." There was a semi-comfortable silence. "Well, I should probably go. I have to open the store tomorrow and you need to be alert so you can make a good impression on your first day. Well, your second first day."

"Okay. Good night Taylor."

"Night Ryan."

"Sweet dreams…" he whispered just before she hung up.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Ryan awoke to find there was steam coming from the shower and he heard Taylor singing. _When did she get here? _He was drawn to the sound like a mouth to a flame, his body beginning to respond. He approached the shower slowly, watching her rub her soapy hands over her body through the foggy class. His hand reached out and pressed against the shower door. Taylor slid the door open and poked her head out. Suddenly Ryan felt very naked, and then he realized that he was in fact naked.

She giggled. "I'm all wet! Are you coming in?"

"I hope so," he smirked stepping inside the shower with her, letting his hair and body get wet while his hands explored her hot, wet skin. _You're so damn beautiful. _He wasn't sure if he thought it or if he said it out loud.

Taylor made a show of examining his arousal, giving it a firm grip before smiling devilishly at him. She grabbed the body wash and vigorously rubbed it between her hands, working up a lather and running her hands all over his chest, slowly and sensually. She pushed him towards the stream of water to rinse off the soap, then fell to her knees while turning him around to face her. "Are you dirty Ryan?"

As she leaned down to take him in her mouth, she suddenly looked up and started talking. "It looks like it's going to be a nice day for January: Mostly sunny and low winds." He looked at her in confusion. "Ryan!" she shouted. "Ryan, turn off your alarm!" By the end of her yelling she sounded a lot like Luke.

Ryan rolled his head to the side and opened his eyes. He was alone in his bed, which seemed much colder than it had a second ago, with his clock radio blaring in his ear and Luke groaning in protest on the other side of him. He reached over and hit the snooze button.

* * *

Luke came back from his classes that day looking like a zombie.

"Hey man, rough night?" Ryan asked.

"Oh man, I was up most of the night last night."

"Why?"

Luke looked at Ryan as if asking _Do you really want to know? _"Marissa has been reading this book, one of those romance novels that chicks love, except this one has even more sex than most do. And let's just say I'm reaping the benefits."

Ryan nodded knowingly. Theresa had gone through a phase where she read those books and she had even made Ryan read select parts from them. Not that he had complained. It gave him some good pointers.

"So have you and Taylor sealed the deal yet?"

"No," he replied shortly, hoping Luke would drop it.

"Why not?"

Ryan sighed. "We're not really even a couple yet. And with her in Newport and me here, I think we might just wait and see what happens."

"Okay Chino, but you seriously need to get _laid._"

Ryan rolled his eyes, but nodded in agreement.

"You should go out tonight."

Ryan looked at him in disbelief. "I'm with Taylor."

"I thought you said you guys weren't technically a couple."

"Well we're not, but that doesn't mean I'm going to hook up with somebody else."

"Why not?"

"Not everyone has as loose of a definition of cheating as you do."

Luke looked stricken. "I…"

When Ryan saw Luke's face, he immediately regretted his words. "Look man, I'm sorry, I was out of line. That was a long time ago."

"No, it's okay. It is true."

"Please tell me it's not _still_ true. You're back with Marissa, isn't that what you always wanted?"

"Dude, there's no way in hell I would even _think_ about cheating on Marissa again."

"Good, because if you did cheat on her, I would have to kick your ass."

"I know. Actually, I just want to bring her back here tonight and I didn't want to ask you because…you know, it's weird."

"Oh, that's cool," Ryan responded. "You could've just said so. I'll make myself scarce."

"It's Marissa…"

"I know. And it's okay. You had her first after all," he replied with a smile.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. When is she coming?"

"We'll probably get back from dinner around 7, and since we both have early classes tomorrow, she'll probably be gone by 10."

"Just to be sure, give me a ring when the coast is clear."

* * *

When Ryan got back that night, Luke was asleep and there was a book lying on the floor near his bed. Ryan had already said good night to Taylor, but he wasn't ready to go to sleep, so after a brief inspection, he picked up the book and began to read.

* * *

TBC of course! Review please!


	11. In Newport?

I suck at updating. I got engaged recently so wedding plans are occupying my thoughts most of the time. Don't worry, I have every intention of finishing this story. The next chapter will most likely be the last one though.

* * *

Something about this book had reeled Ryan in. Oddly, he found himself hating the guy in the book, waiting for the girl to shut him down, but Peaches, he was enthralled with. Maybe that wasn't so odd since the Frenchman reminded him of Henri-Michel, seducing a young American girl. He had just finished page 112 when a nauseating thought occurred to him.

Ryan dropped the book as if it had burned him, and looked at the name of the author. It couldn't be… He turned the book over, and on the back was a picture of the man who had come to his dorm room and punched him.

Before he could really think about what he was doing, he called her cell phone, figuring she would just be finishing up closing the comic book store. "Hello?" she answered, the tone of her voice letting him know she had looked at the caller ID before answering. He could picture her smiling into the phone and for a moment he forgot he was angry. But only for a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me your ex-husband wrote an erotic novel about you?"

His accusatory tone was new to her and it made her nervous. "What?"

"A Season for Peaches? The best selling erotic novel in France, English translation just came out?"

"An _erotic_ novel?" She knew he wrote about love extensively but she never thought he would publish details of their sex life. Maybe it wasn't too detailed...

"Well, erotic is putting it tactfully. You don't know about this?" he asked, though he could tell she was as surprised as he had been.

Taylor looked out the window of the store and saw a new bookstore with a poster in the window of a book entitled A Season for Peaches by _him._ And she saw a figure that looked an awful lot like him standing in the store. What was he doing in the bookstore? "Oh no…"

She sounded freaked out. "Taylor?"

"Can I call you back?"

Now she sounded more determined than scared. Ryan sighed. "Fine. Bye."

Taylor ignored the sinking feeling she had from Ryan's tone and marched into the bookstore and found Henri-Michel inside signing copies. When he saw Taylor, he stood up to greet her, leaving a line of women watching with intrigue. "And here she is! My inspiration, Peaches!" He kissed each of her cheeks as Taylor stiffened, glaring at him. When he stepped back, she slapped him hard across the face. When the ringing in his ears quieted he asked, "Peaches, why are you angry?"

"You published a book about…us?"

"You're Peaches?" a woman in the line asked, looking at her with admiration. "On page 47, the part in the Chunnel, how did you not get arrested?"

Taylor glared at Henri with disgust. "The Chunnel?"

"I thought it would be a nice _twist_," he replied with a wink. "You didn't think so?"

"I haven't read it, but _Ryan_ wasn't too thrilled with it! And what are you doing in Newport?"

"I am just promoting my book."

"Henri, just _how _detailed is this book?" The woman who had asked Taylor about the Chunnel, handed her the book opened to the infamous page 47. After skimming it, she looked back to Henri-Michel with tears in her eyes. "How could you? This is my hometown, and you're here promoting this book filled with details of my sex life! Enough truth to hurt me, and enough embellishing to make me look like a whore! How could you do this to me?"

"I did not mean to make you sad, Peaches. I just couldn't keep our love to myself; I had to share it with the world!"

"You're so full of it. And if I lose Ryan over this…"

"If this can come between you, was what you had worth holding on to?"

Tears sprang to Taylor's eyes, threatening to fall. "I'm falling in love with him." The realization, more new to her than to Henri-Michel, rang in her ears and without another word, she left.

* * *

As Ryan ate dinner, or at least tried to, phrases from the book ran through his mind on an endless reel. He tried not to picture it, to not imagine Taylor with another man, but it wasn't working very well.

Luke sat down with him. "You okay, man? You look like you were zoned out."

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, but even Luke wasn't too dense to see he was_ not _fine.

"Chino, you really suck at lying."

Ryan glared at him.

"Thinking about Taylor?" Luke asked, winking. Sexual frustration had a tendency to make him moody, so maybe that's what Ryan was brooding about.

"Yeah, Taylor…and Henri-Michel."

"Her French husband?"

"Ex-husband," Ryan quickly corrected him. "It turns out he's a best-selling author. You know that book of Marissa's that you lent me?"

Luke nodded, and Ryan saw that he was slowly connecting the dots. "He wrote A Season for Peaches? Sweet, I think I owe that guy a person thank you card."

_Well, some of the dots,_ Ryan thought. "Yeah. French man seduces a younger American girl..."

"He wrote a romance novel about her?"

Ryan nodded.

"Taylor is Peaches?"

"Yep."

"Damn, I _knew _she'd be wild in the sack."

"That's not the point," Ryan snapped.

"Oh...right." Luke looked apologetic. "Sorry."

"Hey guys," Marissa interrupted, sitting down beside Luke. Sara followed Marissa, sitting beside Ryan. She was smiling predatorily.

Ryan groaned perturbed by Sara's presence. "Hey, Marissa."

"What new with you, Ryan?" Sara asked.

He mumbled an answer, cringing at her presence when another girl approached the table.

"Hey Marissa. Do you guys mind if I pull up a chair?" The girl was petite with striking blue eyes and a warm smile.

"Sure. Guys, this is Savannah. We're in English class together. Savannah, this is Luke, Sara, and Ryan."

"Nice to meet you guys."

"So what classes are you taking?" Luke asked the new girl.

"I'm just taking my gen ed classes right now. English, history, the usual. My physics class is totally kicking my ass though."

"Ryan's really good at physics," Marissa offered. "Maybe he could help you out."

Savannah looked at Ryan hopefully.

"Yeah, sure, I could do that."

"That would be awesome, thank you so much."

* * *

Taylor was exhausted when she got home from work. She sighed with relief when Ryan answered his phone. At least he was speaking to her. "He's here."

She sounded so upset that all of his anger from before was gone. "At the Cohens?"

"No, no. Here in Newport. He's 'promoting his book.'"

"You saw him?"

"Briefly. Slapped him. Yelled at him. That was about it."

At this knowledge, a small smile crept onto Ryan's face. "Are you going to read the book?"

"No. Are you going to finish it?"

"No."

"Good."

"I'm going to Newport this weekend."

"Does that mean…?"

"I don't know. It's…I can't get it out my head, but I'm trying."

TBC! Please review!


	12. Good News

Okay so I just wrote a lot of this chapter tonight. It's not too polished because I wanted to just get it out there.

* * *

"Ryan, I have an awesome idea!"

Those words from Seth usually led to trouble. "I'm going to hear it whether I want to or not, aren't I?"

"You'll like this. Remember how we visited the Nana over spring break two years ago?"

"Yeah," Ryan replied, trying not to think about what had happened while they'd been gone.

"I think it's time we pay the Nana another visit. And this time, we're bringing the girls with us."

"Has Summer agreed to this?"

"Yeah, and we've got Marissa on board too, so that means Luke. Now we just need you and Taylor and the Fab 6 will be complete."

"I'll ask her. She might have to work though."

"Don't worry about that. Leon can always be bribed."

"I don't know, it might be better if I stay here and get caught up with school work."

"Ryan, it's spring _break_, not spring _catch up._ Besides I think some quality time with your lady friend could do you a lot of good."

"Seth, we're not-"

"I know, I know, she's not your girlfriend. We both know that's just a technicality though."

"I don't know if I can get past reading the details of the stuff she did with Henri-Michel."

"Right, the book. Ryan, you know that most of that isn't true, right?"

"It isn't?"

"Well, I doubt it. First of all, there's no way she could have gotten away with that Chunnel stunt and not been arrested. He probably just took a few bits of reality and embellished it into some elaborate fantasy."

"Maybe. Anyway, I'll see if she wants to go."

"Good, we'll count you guys in."

* * *

The next night when Savannah came over to Ryan and Luke's room with her physics assignment, Luke was over at Marissa's room. "Thank you so much for doing this," Savannah said, awkwardly looking around the room.

"It's no problem," Ryan told her, gesturing for her to sit down. "What are you having trouble with?"

"Mostly, it's knowing where to plug in which numbers into the formulas." She opened the book to the chapter 3 exercises. "This is what he's quizzing us over tomorrow."

An hour and a half later, Savannah was prepared for the quiz and Ryan was pleasantly surprised at how quickly she'd caught on when he'd explained it to her. Now, they were talking like old friends.

"The woman wanted to get a better picture of Binky, so she crawled over the fence and into his cage!"

Ryan laughed. "She climbed into a polar bear's cage just to get a better picture?"

"Yeah. She was a tourist," Savannah replied, rolling her eyes. "Although you don't have to be from Alaska to know that you shouldn't get in a polar bear's cage. There's a picture of Binky with her shoe in his mouth. The Anchorage Zoo sold T-shirts with that picture on it for months."

"Do you have one?" Ryan asked.

"No, but I wish I did. Oh! And a month after that incident, some drunk guys thought it would be fun to take a dip in Binky's pool. Binky didn't like that."

"I bet. Did they live to tell about it?"

"Yeah, they somehow came out of there mostly unharmed," she said looking perplexed.

When the laughter died down, he asked, "So why did you come to Berkeley?"

"Well, I've always known I didn't want to stay in Alaska. My boyfriend plays soccer and Berkeley was one of the schools offering him a scholarship, so I figured I would apply. He's coming here next year."

"You have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Oh no, Marissa wasn't trying to set us up, was she? I thought she knew."

"No, at least I hope not. I have a girlfriend too. Well, technically she's not my girlfriend, yet. I was afraid that you'd be like Sara."

Savannah laughed. "No. Honestly, that girl scares me. How about this? I'll tell her that I threw all my feminine charms at you and you refused to stray from your girl. Then maybe she'll give up."

Ryan smiled, glad Savannah was someone he could call a friend. "I hope so."

"So why is this girl not actually your girlfriend yet?"

"Well, she's still in Newport, and we're just getting to know each other," Ryan replied vaguely.

"I'm sensing there's more to it?" she pressed.

He sighed. "She married this French novelist and he wrote a book with some intimate details about the two of them. And I accidentally read it."

"I see. That's…wow. How did you _accidentally_ read it?"

"It's Luke's fault," Ryan replied smiling. "No, I didn't realize the book was by her ex-husband until I was most of the way through it."

"Is she still hung up on her ex-husband? Is that why you're holding back?"

"No, she was never that into him in the first place. I just can't stop picturing it."

"Poor girl. I would hate to have my past mistakes put out there so publically. Can you imagine?"

He remembered his early days in Newport, when everyone would whisper about he was a felon who stole cars and burned down houses. That had sucked, but to have explicit details about his sex life out there? The idea of Taylor reading graphic descriptions of his encounters with Theresa, Marissa, Sadie, or Chloe, not to mention his early trysts in Chino, made him sick.

"Ryan?"

"I never thought about what this must be like for her."

Savannah smiled with understanding. "To her, it's just a memory, one she would probably rather forget. I'm sure her ex glamorized it, because those books are supposed to be all about fantasy."

Ryan nodded, knowing she was right. "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it, I owe you because now I have a prayer of passing my physics quiz."

* * *

While Taylor was at work on Friday, time seemed to go even slower than usual. Ryan would be arriving around 9 and she couldn't wait to see him, to tell him the good news she'd gotten that afternoon. She heard someone come into the store.

"Taylor?"

"Henri, I really don't want to talk to you right now."

"Peaches, you know I hate to see you sad. Is it Ryan?"

"Things with Ryan are fine," she replied, unintentionally defensive.

"What did you think of the book?"

"I didn't read it and I'm not going to."

"Peaches, I wrote it for you. I know that you have fallen for Ryan, that you betrayed me for him, but is there no room in your heart for me at all? Was cheating not cruel enough, that now you must shut me out as well?"

"If you had given me a divorce when I asked for it, I wouldn't have been married to you when Ryan and I started dating."

"I just couldn't bring myself to let you go until I'd seen for myself that it was over."

"What did seeing me with Ryan do that all those phone calls and e-mails didn't do?"

"I saw that you were in love with him. You never looked at me the way you look at him."

Taylor knew that it was the truth, but with things with Ryan so uncertain, it was painful to acknowledge.

* * *

Ryan knew that Taylor would be at work when he got to Newport, so he went straight to the mall. When he got to the comic book store, he saw that Henri-Michel was there, and standing a little too close to Taylor for his taste.

He confidently walked up to her and greeted her with a kiss.

"Hey," she smiled at him when he pulled back.

Henri was quick to realize he was not welcome. "I should be going. See you later, Peaches." He was out the door before Taylor could reply.

"What was he doing here?" Ryan fought to keep accusation out of his voice.

"I think he just wants me to let him off the hook for publishing that book."

"He isn't trying to get you back?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow.

Taylor shrugged, hiding her smile at his jealousy. "It's not like it would do any good if he was trying to get me back, but I don't think he is."

"Good. I don't like other guys hitting on my girlfriend." He pulled her towards him possessively and he was about to lean down and kiss her when her hand on his chest stopped him.

"Girlfriend?"

Ryan replayed what he'd just said in his mind and wanted to kick himself. How had he let that just slip? "Well, not my _girlfriend, _just…whatever we are."

"Oh." She didn't really bother trying to hide her disappointment, though his slip meant that at least he was thinking about her being his girlfriend. "And what exactly are we?"

Ryan looked like a deer in headlights. "Well, we _did _agree that we didn't want to be exclusive when we weren't living in the same city."

Taylor nodded in agreement. "About that…I got a letter from Berkeley today."

Ryan's eyes lit up. "Did you get in? Of course you got in, you're _Taylor Townsend,_ but are you going to be able to go?"

Taylor smiled at how he'd said, _you're Taylor Townsend,_ like she could do anything. He was looking at her hopefully now, and the words burst out of her. "I got a full ride!"

"Are you serious?" She nodded eagerly and he walked around the counter and pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations! So that means after this semester is over, no more living in different cities."

Taylor nodded, glad he was happy about it. "In three months, you'll be back in Newport for the summer, and we'll both be going to Berkeley in the fall. And you'll be back for a week for spring break."

"Actually, I was thinking…do you want to come to Miami with me? Seth, Summer, Luke and Marissa are going too, so it wouldn't _just_ be us, but I thought…"

Taylor cut him off with a kiss. "I'd love to. And I can get Leon to work for me."

"Good. Now can you close this store yet, so we can go celebrate?"

"Give me five minutes and we can go."

* * *

After going out to the Bait Shop, they went back to the Cohens'. Ryan hugged Sandy and Kirsten, savoring the warmth and familiarity of Home. Sandy asked how his classes were going, and Kirsten doted on him, asking if he was eating and sleeping well, if he was getting homesick, if he would like them to come visit. Ryan couldn't help but smile at the attention and assured his guardians that he was fine and things were going well.

"You two look happy," Sandy commented as the couple sat down in the living room.

"Taylor got a full ride to Berkeley," Ryan said proudly.

"That's great, Taylor!" Kirsten exclaimed, hugging her.

"Berkeley is an excellent school," Sandy added.

"I'm going to start this fall. It seems a long ways off now, but I'm sure the time will fly."

Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a look and Kirsten nodded slightly. "We actually have some exciting news too," Sandy said.

"Yeah? What's up?" Even though Sandy and Kirsten were clearly happy about the news, he couldn't help the dread in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm pregnant," Kirsten announced, beaming. "I'm due in September. You're going to have a little brother or sister!"

Ryan had always wanted to be a big brother, though he sometimes felt like one with Seth. He'd never imagined it would happen like this, but he was glad it was. "Congratulations," he said, hugging Kirsten.

"We haven't told Seth yet, so don't mention it to him."

"This is so exciting!" Taylor jumped up, hugging Kirsten. "Have you thought about names yet? Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"We haven't gotten that far yet. We just found out a few days ago." Sandy and Ryan smiled at the flustered look on Kirsten's face.

"Taylor should we head out to the pool house? Give these two some space? I'm sure Kirsten needs her rest."

"Oh sure! See you guys tomorrow!"

* * *

"Are you excited to be a big brother?" Taylor asked him as she emerged from the bathroom in her nightie.

"Yeah," he replied distractedly, gazing out to the ocean.

She deflated some when he didn't even notice how scantily clad she was. "Is everything okay? Are we okay?" she asked walking up to stand beside him.

"Yeah, I was actually just thinking about...something else."

"Oh. Do you-"

"No. Thanks, but I'd really rather not."

"Okay," she replied softly.

He pulled Taylor's body into his, kissing her temple. "We're okay."

"Really? Because I'm sure if Marissa wrote a romance novel about you, I wouldn't be handling it this well."

The idea of Marissa writing something like that amused him. "Really. I mean, it got to me at first. I couldn't stand picturing you like that with someone else." He took a deep breath and turned to look her in the eye. "I don't want to see you with anyone else. I want you to be with me."

Taylor stepped towards him, watching as his eyes roamed over her body, resting on her nipples, before quickly going back to her face. "I am with you." She moved towards the bed and took his hand to pull him with her.

As they made their way towards the bed, his hand came up to caress her cheek while he lowered his lips to hers. The kiss started out gentle and tender, but it was filled with anticipation. Ryan's hand moved to her hair, feeling the soft tresses and pulling her closer, while the other hand rested on her rubbed against the silky material of her nightie, feeling the curves underneath. Her arms wrapped around him, one going to his hair while the other started at his shoulder and moved down, feeling the muscles of his back before muscular shoulders, before stopping at his hip and pulling him against her. She moved onto the bed, scooting up to the top, while he guided her to the pillow. He rolled his hips into hers and she whimpered, feeling his arousal. "Ryan..."

At the sound of his name on her lips, he felt his control begin to slip away. Her teeth gently nipped his earlobe and her hips grinded against his. Her hands slid under his shirt, quickly pulling it off over his head. Following her lead, he slid the strap on her nightie aside, tasting the skin on her collar bone. He tugged it down, exposing her breasts to him for the first time. Her nipples begged his for his mouth and he happily obliged, flicking his tongue over one rosy bud, while he moved up her side to cup the other mound of flesh, soft and supple in his hand.

In a maneuver that surprised him, she flipped him on his back and settled herself on top of him. As she rode him through his jeans, he watched her, entralled with every the way her head was tilted back, the way her body moved over him, and the soft sounds coming from her lips. She moved down to unbutton his jeans and he lifted his hips to help her take them off. She cupped him through his boxers. "Taylor," he hissed, and she grinned wickedly. She moved back to his lips and kissed him again, this time teasingly. She continued to kiss his jaw, neck, down his chest, over his stomach, to the trail of fine hairs that disappeared into his boxers. "Taylor, wait." She pulled back slightly and regarded him thoughtfully. "Are we ready for this?"

"Probably not. Soon though. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun doing other things."

Ryan smiled, pulling her back down to him. He'd had a feeling that it wasn't the right time yet, and he thought that this relationship was probably worth going slow for. Besides, it gave them something new to look forward to for spring break. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

TBC. Review please!


End file.
